Dusty

I am the first student ever to check out the library book I checked out a half-hour ago...and the first person to take the book out of the library since at least May 1, 1977.

It's very exciting, having in my hands such rare knowledge.

Unfortunately, it looks pretty damn boring. Transcripts of government hearings about a fairly obscure American Indian tribe. Why couldn't *I* get a tribe like the Blackfoot (a bit of my ancestry) or the Cherokee or something that more than a couple hundred people have ever heard about? Stupid other people in my class, with their well-documented tribes, who could choose from a wider variety of books. There is only *one* book about *my* tribe. Which makes me special, because we're supposed to read *two* books about our tribes, and my second "book" will be all the government documents about the tribe and their appeal for federal recognition, etc. Yay, microfiche. But at least I got brownie points from my professor for being "flexible".

And it'll be a good learning experience, blah blah blah.

Fast Learner

My nephew, age 4, has found a way to lessen his punishments when he gets in trouble. He looks you straight in your eyes and says, "I love you." If he's close enough, he might try to give you a hug or kiss as well.

Lord help the girls of his future.

Arrested Development

The world is growing up while I'm stuck at 19.

I was sitting on some steps, minding my own business, enjoying the spring-like weather, when a guy came up to me.

Guy: "You look familiar."

Me: "I get that a lot." (I really do, one of my professors is determined she knows me from somewhere and keeps trying to figure out where.)

Guy: "No, really. Is your name [my name]?"

Me: (Now suspicious.) "Yes..."

Guy: "You used to date my brother, [his brother's name]."

Turns out this kid is the little brother of the guy I dated last time I came to this university. When this kid was like 8 years old.

Worth a Shot

A week or so ago, I wrote that if I had a flat-screen monitor, I'd be all set. And poof! I got an LCD monitor! (Thanks, Pete!)

So...

If I had a million dollars and a Corvette (black convertible) and Lasik surgery, I'd be all set.

Me and My Shadow

I haven't written about the hsbf (high school boyfriend) in awhile...but today I spent 5 hours seeing if I'm just imagining that he follows me around at work. And I don't think I'm imagining it.

I went into the office, he went into the office.

I went into the breakroom, he went into the breakroom.

I went onto the sales floor, he went onto the sales floor.

I went into the stockroom, he went into the stockroom.

I sat on the right side of the office, he pulled a chair over to sit on the right side of the office.

I moved to the outside of the counter, he moved to the outside of the counter to stand right next to me.

I stood on the inside of the counter (it's in the middle of the sales floor), he stood right next to me inside the counter.

I went into the ladies' room, I locked the door.

Anyway, he stayed later than anyone else to help me close up, and also at one point I was checking my e-mail and had no new mail. He was there (obviously), and I remarked that no one loved me. He said it was only because I haven't given him my e-mail address.

I don't think I'm imagining things. I can't act any more platonic, and I'm not sure if I should be doing anything to actively discourage his little crush. So far it's harmless. Thoughts?

Next I'll Be Sued By Third Baseline Guy

WTF?! People sue over everything. Especially if the defendant (or her husband) has lots of money.

Axelrod's attorney, Jay Paul Deratany, said he planned to sue Davis and his wife for more than $1 million. Deratany said he was writing the papers Thursday for a battery suit against Kendra Davis and a slander case against Antonio Davis, and planned to file them Friday.

Battery is something the police can handle with criminal charges. Slander is ridiculous, because I somehow doubt this guy's reputation has been ruined to the tune of a million bucks in damages. Would we have even known who the fan involved was if he hadn't come out with his attorney to parade in front of the microphones and cameras?

Get a life.

Here, There, Everywhere

First of all, I can not stress enough that everyone should get a cute professor with an accent if at all possible, whenever possible.

Secondly, I think I was in half the buildings on campus today. Within about 45 minutes. I had to go to the Interdisciplinary Studies office, the History office, Jessup to pay my U-bill, the Registrar's office, the IMU (student union, bookstore is inside), the library, and Phillips Hall. Later on I even went into the dental building. But that was just for fun. :-)

The thing that sucks about campus is that it's built on a giant hill. And you eventually have to walk up the hill. Bleh, aerobic activity. Actually, it's built on either side of a river, but I don't have to cross the river on foot. The west side has the hospital and medical school, the law school, dental building, sports facilities, and all that sort of thing. Oh, and the arts center. The east side has all of my stuff, and all of the general buildings like the main library and IMU. I keep meaning to take pictures for you. But I'll probably wait until it gets nicer, weather-wise.

And thirdly, I love chalupas. Just throwing that out there.

Suddenly, Having Affairs With Professors Seems Reasonable To Me

I've never understood before why anyone would have an affair with a professor (yuck!)...but now I understand. Not all of them are old, and some of them are even attractive. Throw in an accent and voice that sound like Ewan McGregor, and it all begins to make sense to me.

Yay for not having to learn about the origins of the planet from an eye-witness!

On the other hand, boo for having a professor able to be in my actual age group.

School Preparation

Tomorrow begins the new semester...and I am preparing by watching Jurassic Park on DVD.

I picked it up at the store when I bought a new desktop computer. Big splurge of the ol' financial aid dollars, but it had to be done. The computer--not the DVD ($45 buys a few DVDs, heh). My other desktop (circa 1999) was dying. Not dead, but close enough that I wasn't comfortable writing any papers on it the end of last semester. Even with frequent backups, I was nervous. So it was either spend the money for Geek Squad to hopefully diagnose (is that spelled right? it looks strange) and fix the issues, or spend the money on something faster and better.

So now I have a spiffy new model with media card readers and USB ports right on the front. Convenient for the digital camera and the flash memory stick thingie. And even with the elephantine AOL loaded on it, it's supah fast.

Now if I only had one of those cool flat-panel monitors, I'd be all set. ;-)

Free Books

I have just returned from the university book store buyback desk, where nearly $600 in books was reduced to $45. It's not magic! It's the college textbook scam in action!

Some books were not taken back, and of those I have two that I want gone from my sight (and my bookshelf):

The Letters of Abelard and Heloise, as translated by Betty Radice

A Concise Introduction to Logic, Eighth Edition, Patrick J. Hurley (including CD!)

I've never liked Abelard. Damn whiner. And y'all know my feelings on Logic in general.

So...if you want them, I will gladly ship them to you. E-mail your address and they'll be on their way! If no one takes my offer, I will probably just burn them in a campfire this summer.

Nerdish

I spent the afternoon cleaning my desk area, organizing next semester's books, and printing labels for the folders. I'm so cool. Classes start Tuesday, ya know, and I am ready.

I feel like I better go to a party or something to balance the nerd karma. So see y'all later!

Babies (Not Mine) and Underwear (Mine)

The Boy: "The Gerkens had their baby."

Me: "A mini-Gerken?" (stifled laughter from me, because I laugh at my own jokes...someone has to)

The Boy: "What?"

Me: "Nevermind."

My sense of humor is completely unappreciated in this country. (mini-gherkin? no?)
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I finally gave in and bought some of those boy-shorts underwear (possibly NSFW). Not sure I care for them, but they've gotten rave reviews from the one person who has seen them who is not me.

And no, that is not my picture. That is a Victoria's Secret model. Obviously, I think.

Broader Horizons

Some people broaden your horizons, expose you to new things, and push you outside your safety zone. It's good to experience different sides of life.

Take my brother, for example. Without him, my mother would have gone her whole life without meeting a bail bondsman or having a nervous breakdown when forced to deal with the whole "bailing-my-son-out-of-jail" situation. I would have gone my whole life without witnessing such a maternal breakdown and being the one who actually was then put in charge of the whole "bailing-my-brother-out-of-jail" situation.

Without my brother, our whole family could have gone our whole lives without meeting a single soul from the Dept of Human Services.

...or an alleged meth manufacturer and dealer.

...or the toothless wonders on his former wife's side of the family.

...I could go on. But I'm starting to feel white trashtastic.
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In happier news, my books cost $467 this semester. I did better than last semester, despite two of my books this term costing ridiculous amounts. I lucked out on the rest of them. Yay, me!

Heh. Indeed.

This is the funniest thing I've read today, especially this part:

UPDATE: Heh. I've just been trampled by an apocalyptic horseman, so blogging may be light

UPDATE: The trampling video is now available at The Political Teen.

Heh. Read the whole thing.

Relating to the Kidz

Boss today during pay review: "Everybody likes you, and I haven't had anyone complain about you." (Amazing in a location of all college kids with their assorted dramas and traumas.)
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Co-worker when told I can't make it to bowling Tuesday: "We'll reschedule it for the day you can go."

My response: "I don't want to inconvenience everybody who has already planned on it for Tuesday."

Co-worker: "Nope. We'll do it Thursday. I'll call everyone."
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See? Some people like me. :-p

Management Style

There were no customers in the store at one point, so the boys did what they do: throw things around. Playing catch is a normal thing for them (and by "them" I don't just mean the two I was working with but all boys who work at the store), but they weren't playing catch. They were trying to knock a stuffed animal off its stand with a soft ball. I was the supervisor today, so when I walked by, one of them offered an apology of sorts:

Him: Sorry, Jen. We're just miscreants.

Me: Oh well.

Him: Cool. (pause) Game on, then.

When there is actual work to do, they listen to me better than they listen to the other supervisors. Whether it's my age or disposition or experience, I couldn't tell you. But they weren't hurting anything or near anything breakable, so why end their fun?

Of Bowl Games and Neck Braces

Yes, as someone helpfully pointed out in the comments somewhere, my team lost their bowl game. I really don't have anything to say about it, because it does no good to rail on about incompetent officiating. Besides, the game announcers did that for me.
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Reading this blog, one might think I am a hypochondriac or at the very least a drama queen, but I'm really not. It's just been a rotten month for me. The flu bug I got (turned out it wasn't food poisoning when my bf and roommate started having the same symptoms) really knocked me on my ass. Falling on the ice literally knocked me on my ass...and back and head.

I wasn't kidding when I said I had a concussion. I still have a headache and sore neck from the whole thing. And I still feel like an idiot, but I've never been one to hide my idiocy from my friends. Or Shank.

Then there is the "vision issue" which resulted from a small tumor pressing against my optic nerve. It's not the first tumor, and I doubt it will be the last. My brain has been trying to kill my body for a couple of years, and I figure the fall on the ice was my body's way of returning the favor.

So if I haven't been blogging much, you'll have to excuse me. And if my sense of humor seems limited lately, you'll have to excuse that too. I'm usually more upbeat when I can see and I don't have ringing in my ears. So give me a week or two and I might even be slightly entertaining again in my own way.

Dumb Things To Do After Graduating From Med School

Getting arrested for conspiracy to deliver Meth. And being held on $130,000 bond, thus ensuring your lengthy stay in jail because no one wants to put their house up to get you out.

I feel my White Trash Cred rising just by knowing her. (Even if only through somebody else.)

Not a Good Start

If you decide to take a stroll outside in winter before the sun comes up, you may want to consider wearing your contacts. If you wear your glasses, they will fly about 3 feet behind you when the back of your head hits the ice you didn't see in the dark. Nothing says "drunken idiot" like crawling around in ice, mud, and snow feeling for your glasses with a concussion.

Even though I was sober.