If You Like A Spinster's Tale, You'll Love...

Hey, lookie! A new blogger!

And I Forgot to Mention...

...when it's easier for me to just answer your comments by editing your comments, I'll be doing that. I won't change your comment, I will just put my italicized answer below it.

Thank you and have a nice day.

You Don't See That Everyday...

...BLIZZARD WARNING...

And, hoo-boy, is it cold and windy out. My afternoon class was cancelled, so I got to come home early and crank up the thermostat.

One thing I tend to do whenever I get home--from work, school, WalMart, whatever--is strip immediately and put on my "comfy clothes." Right now, for example, I am rocking the flannel pajama bottoms, oversized sweatshirt, and ponytail action.

Where other people put on sweatpants, I put on flannel pajama pants. And yes, I do occasionally (but rarely) go out in public with my flannel pants. I try to wear the muted ones if that happens...the moons holding their teddy bears and wearing a stripey nightcap are a little too obvious. Meaning, if I wear those outside, I have obviously been wearing them since the night before.
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Btw, anyone keeping track at home can add $50 to my textbook expenses for the semester...I had to buy a "coursepack" yesterday. Those are collections of journal articles and the like that professors put together and have printed and bound for the class. Most professors these days post them to the course website online, but occasionally one of them is a lazy bastard. Or technologically backwards.
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I had to type a short paper in French, and that sucked. I hate having to type the accents and crap. Plus then I have to remember the accents and crap. The final project for that class will be around 10 pages, so I look forward to a few late nights cursing the French for not obliterating their special characters.
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Margaret Truman died. I read her books The President's House, First Ladies, and Harry S. Truman. She'll be missed.

Cue the SQUEEEE!

Seriously, you guys. I am completely unable to help myself.

(click to enlarge, if you are so inclined. which you are not.)

The bf is becoming less inclined to watch reruns of Trick My Truck...don't know why.

To: Tempe, AZ

You're freaking me out a little, dude. Hope you're enjoying the archives, though.

56 Meme-ish

Seen at Harvey's (who didn't tag me, but I'm not the kind of girl to wait by the phone)...I guess if you've seen over 85, you need to go outdoors more often.

(x)Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x)Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
() Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
() KING KONG
Total so far: 8

() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber
Total so far: 10

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 12

() The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
() The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 14

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
() Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 18

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 22

() Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks!
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
() The Terminator 2
() The Terminator 3
Total so far: 26

(x) X-Men
() X2
() X-3
() Spider-Man
() Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x) Shrek 3
Total so far: 32

() Swimfan
() Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Kippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 34

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 40

(x) Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
(x) Three
Total so Far: 43

() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 46

() High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
() Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
Total so far: 48

() Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 48

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 54

() The Matrix
() The Matrix Reloaded
() The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal

Final total: 56

I'd have gotten more if we were talking the books for Narnia, anything by Stephen King, Thomas Harris, etc. You'll note I've seen all the Trey Parker and Matt Stone options...heh.

I won't tag anyone...do it if you want, let me know, and I'll post a link.
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Reverend Mike did it.

Umm, What?

Someone (I assume a homo sapiens sapiens) found this site by Googling for instructions on how to make homo sapiens costumes.

Somehow, I hope they meant to search for homo sapiens neanderthalensis...but somehow I doubt it.

On the other hand, the search came from the Iberian Peninsula, so maybe it was a homo neanderthalensis doing the searching...that would be awesome.

Money is a Friend of Mine

He just doesn't come around as often as I'd like.

Had some extra expenses recently...medical, auto, and the like. (People who hit a car, obviously damage it, and drive off without reporting it oughta be smited. Smote? Whatevs. They SUCK beyond all reason.) Let's just say I've been eating a lot of ramen the last month or so...

Then I got a check for that sweet, sweet financial aid money I'm such a fan of lately. After paying ridiculous amounts of money for books, tending to other expenses, and figuring out what was left, it seemed...short. It seemed like I got more in August, and it should have been the exact same amount as what I got in August.

Eventually decided it really did seem short, and looked into it, and it was short...for reals. So now I have to turn in a form that somehow got lost in the shuffle, wait a bit, and get the rest of my monies. Happy day.

Still not eating steak, but maybe I can eat chicken occasionally instead of "chicken-flavored" ramen.
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UPDATE, 7:40 pm--Holy crap, you guys, I just submitted my graduation application. Assuming I pass everything this semester, this is it.

Ink, Part Two

Or I could just get a new tat altogether...

(click to enlarge)

(No, not really. In case you were worried.)

Petition

You sign now.

Ink

So, I have this lizard tattoo on my foot that I'm not so crazy about. So I've been deciding what to do with it, and here is my idea...

A rose vine. The vines will be tribal-ish but not black tribal. Green tribal. The rosebuds will have letters stylized into the buds, for special people that I am related to and will never "break up" with...subtle-like. With the bonus of being able to add more buds for new people.

Then underneath/around somehow, the phrase: "Dans l'étendue la plus blanche la plus sèche du désert infini de douleur, j'ai perdu ma santé mentale et je trouvai cette rose." Which translates into: "In the driest whitest stretch of pain's infinite desert, I lost my sanity and found this rose." A little Rumi for you.

Thoughts?

Scheduling

I must say, being a senior makes me want to stay in school forever just because I finally have enough semester hours to get first pick of all classes.

This semester, I never have to roll out of bed before 9 a.m., and I don't have any classes on Fridays.

Perfect. Even for a "grown-up".

And I got every single one of the classes I wanted, including one I've been trying to get into for years. Suck it, underclassmen.

Scam Artists!

My books for this semester cost $535. And I'm not taking any history classes (they tend to be multiple-book events). And one of my classes doesn't have any books at all. And half my books are used.

So what the hell?!
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If you walk in on your dirtbag boyfriend raping a 14-year-old, and you don't report it for a couple weeks, guess what? You're not the hero of the story, you fucking bitch!!!!! I don't care what your excuse is, so STFU. You're not getting a medal.
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Findmyhappyplacefindmyhappyplace...

Miss Me?

I've been gone for enough days to have deleted hundreds of accumulated spam messages.

Saw the niece and nephew, who have always had their little nicknames...and my nephew has approved the new nickname for the new niece who is on the way: FrogPants. Does it make sense? No. That is part of the fun. TurkeyLips, or the Original Niece, does not approve of the new nickname. But she did not offer any alternatives, and the nephew was gleefully chanting, "FrogPants! FrogPants! FrogPants!" So FrogPants it is.

Anywho, the Final Semester begins tomorrow. New notebooks, new promises to self to be a diligent student, and I am all set.

Now that I think about it, could FrogPants be misconstrued as some sort of perversion? Let me know, Shank. If anyone can find the nastiness in it, it's you.

Oh, and also? My sister getting knocked up and having a wedding is really working out in my favor. Mom is spending all kinds of money on her, and feeling her weird mom-guilt about it, so she gave me some money before I left. I didn't ask for it, and it's usually Dad handing out the spending cash. Mom's a weirdo...she thinks we all keep score on how much money she spends on us for birthdays, Christmas, whatever. Plus she was talking about helping me out with all my student loans. Which she didn't do 12 years ago, but wants to do now? Without any hints or asking on my part? Whatevs.

Reading Continues

Albeit slower than anticipated. I have moved on to my third and presumably last book of my winter reading. Ghosts of Vesuvius ends with a chapter on the WTC, so I decided to take up some lighter fare: The Spanish Inquisition.

How could it be lighter fare? No matter how angry I get about religious persecution, when I read/hear/think "the Spanish Inquisition"...I have to say/think, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

Plus my other choice was about Jewish ghetto life in Nazi Germany, and I really can't take that right now. So I chose the thousands dead in medieval history over the millions dead in recent history.

Not that the passage of time makes me less angry or sad, but the horror of Nazi Germany is a special kind of horrific.

Thoughts on Food

I just returned from the grocery store. Mental note: never go there again on a Sunday evening.

I bought a veggie tray, because I like veggies. Not a big fan of prep work, though. And I must say, I don't understand why they have to degrade the deliciousness of my veggie trays with cauliflower. I was never a no-veggie-eating kind of kid...although I did pick out the cooked carrots from stews, etc. Love raw carrots, but hate cooked carrots. I think I've mentioned this a few times, but honestly it can never be said enough. Love green beans--prefer the whole or cut beans as opposed to "French style" (stringy, ridiculous), but I'll eat them however they come to me. And I'll put broccoli in anything. I'll eat a plate of steamed broccoli. And I have. But back to cauliflower...really? This is supposed to be appealing? Tiny little brains that taste vaguely of...I don't know...maybe it's dirt? If veggie trays came in carrots-celery-broccoli only, I'd be thrilled. I even try the cauliflower every time to make sure they're still not good. I had some ten minutes ago. Still not good.

I also bought oatmeal packets. I've always liked oatmeal. I have my preparation method down pat so that it is the perfect consistency for me: a little on the runny side, not mushy. When we were kids, my brother and I burned through the oatmeal. Then they started coming out with the fruit and cream varieties...peaches and cream, strawberries and cream, whatever. Yuck. I hated those things. My brother loves them. So when Mom would buy the stupid fruit and cream oatmeals, I wouldn't touch the stuff. They're just a weird consistency and sickly sweet. Maple and brown sugar, though? Love it. Raisin and spice? Ditto.

And thus ends my thoughts on food. Thanks for stopping by.

Lighter Fare

My niece and nephew will be spending the night safe, with no one threatening them or yelling at them. They'll be opening the Christmas presents they didn't get on time, and all is happy in their world for now.

You have never heard more joy than the joy in the little girl's voice that exclaimed, "I'm with my dad!" when I answered the phone.

But the little boy's voice that said, "I'm still your monkey," was pretty good, too. Balm to soothe a worried heart.

I'll sleep better tonight than I have in awhile.
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I am a cyber-stalker par excellence, and I must report on my findings about a 6'6" tattooed truck mechanic (guys who can fix a motor are sexy!) that make me a little sad. He is a 1974 Virgo, and we all know 1974 Virgos are the most awesomest people ever, right? Right.

(I am not mentioning his name because my readers should be able to figure it out from the last week or so of posts...and googlers don't need to.)

Now I'm more distraught that he didn't wait for me...isn't it obvious we were Meant To Be?!

:-p Yes, I do enjoy my own silliness. Immensely.

Pro Bono--UPDATED WITH MORE RANTINESS

Anyone know any members of the Iowa Bar willing to do a little family court action for free or reduced fees?

Custody needs to be revised. It's a good cause.

DHS has an open file on the mother. The daughter has now tried to run away from her and the abusive boyfriend.

Several lawyers have said there's a better than good chance the father could get full custody. But they also want cost-prohibitive retainers up front.

You know, I rant about the Skankasaur a lot...she brings it out in me. And occasionally someone will say, "She can't be that bad." But you know what? She is that bad.

She is completely estranged from every single member of her family. My brother is the only tie between her and her family, because he takes the kids to visit the relatives who give a damn about them. She has four siblings, and none of them have anything to do with her. Her friendships never last more than a few months. She is a user and a completely toxic person.

I hosted her baby shower for my niece, because she had no friends to do it. I got my brother's friends' girlfriends to attend it, and everyone I could think of with some loyalty to my family. So it was a good turnout, but no one there was actually her friend. Her family members who were invited by me--AND WHO LIVE IN TOWN--did not show.

Two years later she had made a friend who lasted long enough to give her a shower for my nephew. I wasn't even invited. Nor was anyone else in my family. And she was married to my brother at the time. And I had decorated their goddamned wedding just a few months previously.

When my brother found her, she was living at the YWCA because all of her family had enough of her. And she was too lazy to work more than a few hours here and there. When she moved in with my brother, he stipulated that she had to get a job. So she got a part-time job at my place of employment (my brother also worked there at the time, different department from me, because I put in a good word with their department head who was my drinking buddy). I predicted she would get knocked up as soon as possible.

And she did. And she immediately quit her part-time, easy-ass job. Aside from her military stint, she has probably not worked more than a total of 100 hours since then. Maybe 200...she worked a couple weeks at a gas station in Missouri. She spent her time in the military trying to get injured so she could be on disability. The sprained shoulder (before she even made it to Basic, lmao)...the broken ankle...they wouldn't give in and discharge her. So she got knocked up. It's what she does. There were three possible candidates for paternity, btw.

Anywho, she has no real connection to anyone but herself and whoever she can use to get what she wants. She'll turn on the tears at the drop of a hat and make people believe she is Mother of the Year or downtrodden at the feet of her evil ex-husband, or whatever else she wants people to believe...but she does not give a single solitary damn for anyone on this planet but herself.

She was in Germany for a year, and got leave over Christmas. She never saw her kids for longer than an 8-hour stretch of time, and threw a complete hissy fit when my brother wouldn't change his New Year's Eve plans to watch them while she went out. It was all HER CHOICE...my brother had wanted her to spend as much time as possible with them for the kids' sake, but she had better things/people to do.

She doesn't do anything for her children out of love. I'm not sure she is even capable of it. I don't know if that's a result of her parents' treatment of her or what, but she never nurtures family. She creates a family. Every new boyfriend she meets is her "fiance" and the kids' new "dad" after twelve minutes. His family becomes the kids' new "grandma", "grandpa", "aunt", "uncle", and "cousin" as soon as they meet.

Meanwhile, she tries to get an aunt they've known all their lives and who she's trusted to babysit overnight even when they were a week old arrested for kidnapping when the aunt takes the kids to see their extended family like they do every summer when they go camping and swimming and ATVing and having fun instead of staying cramped up in an apartment and never let outside. Because she knows the kids love their aunt, and the mother has no capacity for love herself and so she is jealous of her children's affection for anyone else.

I know this because the kids have told me what their mother says. "We can't love you. We love our mom." I've explained to the kids that we all have hearts with room enough to love as many people as we want. There is room in our hearts to love our mom, dad, little brother, mom's boyfriend, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and anyone else we want to love. I've told them it's okay to love whoever we want and miss whoever we want no matter what other people think of that person. If one of our friends doesn't like our other friend, we can still love both friends.

Of course, it is a lie. We don't all have that much room in our hearts. I know one person who doesn't. But it is my sincerest hope that she won't pass on her small, ugly heart to her children. They deserve happier lives than that.

Dictionary Time

con·se·quence n. Something that logically or naturally follows from an action or condition. The relation of a result to its cause. A logical conclusion or inference.

For example, You violated your divorce order when you did not let your ex-husband see his children, and now you have to explain why to a judge. You might go to jail.
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Some people do not understand the concept of consequences. Yet.

CMT Sucks Again

Well, for about 5 days I thought CMT did not completely suck. Now it sucks again. Why? Because apparently they have a whole new crew for Trick My Truck (not "whole" new since two old guys continue) that does not include the Pickett brothers.

What is the damn point?

Here I thought I found another rare television show that I was actually willing to sit still for and watch (it's only 30 minutes, bonus points), and they took away the only reason I was willing to sit still and watch it. Bah!

I hate television.

A Quote for the Extinct

"Call it mother, if you will--but Earth is not a doting parent."

-Isaac Asimov

Yawn

For anyone coming along, hoping to read some dazzling insight to the Iowa Caucuses, keep moving.

I am sick of the presidential campaign already, and have been for a couple months now. We have been inundated with political ads, nightly campaign calls, and traffic-jamming candidate appearances on unprecedented levels.

Good riddance to it all, and good luck to New Hampshire. Many of us look forward to being left alone for a few months.

Election fatigue. We has it.

The Power of Guilt

Parental guilt can make you do many things. Like have a big family wedding when you didn't want one (my sister). Like participating in college graduation ceremonies when you've spent the last 2+ years saying you weren't going to take the walk (me).

Oh well. They provide love, shelter, and interest-free loans. Walking down an aisle or across a stage is the least we can do, I guess.
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Obviously no one at TMZ understands the whole ATV thing. The last thing you want is for a kid to be strapped onto a vehicle that can potentially roll over. But, yes, he should have been wearing a helmet.

I have taken many rides on the ATV with my niece and nephew, and as long as you stick to tame terrain, there is next to no danger. I always make them wear a helmet, but there is no way I'd bungee-cord them to the thing. (Seatbelts are not exactly standard on an ATV.)

New Love

So, I was watching tv with someone who is a chronic channel-flipper*, and CMT's Trick My Truck came into view. For some reason, it stayed on the screen for more than a split second.

It was enough to pique my interest, and the channel-flipper was instructed to turn it back. "What is this?" I inquired. Apparently they take big rigs and trick them out (a blatant ripoff of Pimp My Ride, I'm sure, but who cares?) for drivers who are down on their luck.

I was intrigued.

Not necessarily because of the premise**, but because of a towering, tattooed, freakily-goateed vision. One Kevin Pickett. Yowsa. I'd link to a picture, but none of the 3 pictures online of him do him justice. You can check out short PSA vids if you are so inclined.

Anyway, he wears a wedding ring, so feh. Still might have to watch the show, though. ;-)

* Actually, I wasn't so much watching TV as trying to read a book, because I am not into the whole channel-flipping thing. Plus the Big Ten sucked yesterday.

** Not at all because of the premise.

UPDATE: Pickett Custom Trucks website.
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Anywho, Happy New Year, all!