Old People are Crazy

This building is a museum. There are no tennis courts, no swimming pool, no athletic facilities of any kind. You have us confused with another building. I don't know which other building, either.

Go away now...go...go away...go go...away...

Fantasy Time

Part of this conversation did not happen...

Him: Don't you get bored, sitting here all day?

Me: No, I usually do my homework.

Him: Oh, you're a student here? What's your major?

Me: History and anthropology.

Him: (contemptuously) Oh, that'll get you a job.

Me: In a museum, hopefully.

Him: (snottily) Which you already have. You may as well drop out and save some money.

Me: Or I may as well kick you square in the nuts.

Who talks to a total stranger like that? Jerkoff.
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Speaking of history, looks like a former history-type blog is being resurrected. If you're into that sort of thing.

Free Richie!

Dear Richie,

You might be able to disregard my previous letter. I hope so, and look forward to posting a retraction!

Love,

Me

The Circus is Coming

So we all know about Fred Phelps, right? The "Christian" reverend who protests at military funerals and such?

He'll be here for the Sueppels, too.

Where is a vengeful and smiting God when you need one? Seriously.

King of Swing?

Dear Richie,

I can't marry you anymore. Knock this shit off, or we won't be able to be friends, either. Especially if you miss the concert I've waited 22 years for. Get help. Be healthy.

Love,

Me

New Rule

If you are doing a group project and not really doing anything, STFU.

I really hate group projects for classes. I should not be graded based on the work or lack thereof of other people.

And I should not have to argue with someone over every little thing when that someone can't even be bothered to do their own part of the workload.

AND I do not care if you are phobic about public speaking, you are not going to try to dictate a whole presentation and then not have to give any part of it.

Good Morning

Just got a university alert call about an "active shooter" in the area...but can't find any other information yet.

The alert described a white male in his 40s and gave a license plate number, so it doesn't sound like it was actually on campus.

I'm annoyed the U's homepage doesn't have any information at all yet.

UPDATE 8:30--Still nothing on the U's homepage. Just send a message to the entire student body about a shooter and then give no more information...nice.

Nothing on the local news, either. One channel just reported about the alert, but had no additional info. WTF?

UPDATE 8:35--just got the emailed alert, but still no more info. On campus? Off campus? Go to class? Stay inside for now? Needless to say, I'm not venturing out for an "active" shooter, but does a 19 y.o. kid with an exam at 8:30 or 9:30 feel as comfortable making that decision?

UPDATE 8:40--another alert call, saying there is no specific threat to any U bldg or persons.

And the 8:45 email: There is no specific threat to any University Building or employee. Do not call police departments unless you have specfic information. Updates will follow.

UPDATE 8:48--the local news finally got some info...the guy shot multiple people in a home off-campus, then fled. Also, the U finally updated its homepage, saying there is no reason to believe the guy will target the U: Classes and University activities are proceeding as scheduled.

Apparently the public schools are on lockdown while they look for the shooter.

UPDATE 9:28--I couldn't figure out why the alleged shooter's name sounded familiar. Turns out he's been in the news lately:

On Feb. 12, according to a Register report, Steven Francis Sueppel was indicted on charges of embezzling and laundering almost $560,000 from Hills Bank & Trust, where he was vice president and controller, over a seven-year period.

UPDATE 10:05--Looks like he (allegedly) killed his wife and four kids and possibly himself. Wife and kids at home, self by crashing his vehicle.

I want to believe there is a Hell at times like these.

The Day After

Well, despite drinking more than I have in quite some time,* I managed to escape any obvious signs of hangover. I quit fairly early and switched to water, and that seems to have helped.

* The first glass of wine was more than I've had to drink in quite some time. I'm old and boring.
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Speaking of boring, I am leaving town after work this afternoon...so this blog will be very slightly more boring than usual because I won't be posting much if at all. The effects on the overall entertainment values contained herein should be negligible.

Ta!

Would You Like to Smell the Bottlecap?

Just stopping in to change clothes and head out to the next group outing.

Have done in a bottle of wine thus far. Yay, DDs! (Designated Drivers!) It's the only reason to befriend the underaged, really. :-)~

Bonus points for anyone who knows the titular genesis.

Burn the Bed

I woke up with what looks suspiciously like a spider bite on the bridge of my nose.

Clearly I must move away now.
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Happy St Pats, all! Drive carefully if you head out...it's Amateur Night.

Do It to Yourself?

Google yourself, that is?

I look through my sitemeter on a fairly regular basis, and I am pretty convinced that some people get here by Googling themselves. Or their neighbors are doing it. But anyway.

Was talking to the bf about this, and he says, "Everybody Googles themselves."

Is this true? Do you Google yourself?

I just got done Googling my own self, and my best known nom de plume. It's not something I normally do unless someone mentions they Googled me and then I have to go see what they saw...and that happens about once a decade thus far.

There was some interesting stuff. Like references to me/my writing in academic papers (ha! fools!) and the like. Plus there was the walk down memory lane as I relived some of my blogging highlights from years past.

My actual legal name is so common that I don't worry about what might show up on Google searches for me, and my best-known pen/nick name is slowly being encroached on by others using it online. But what about the rest of you?

Google yourself regularly?

Bless That Kid

Why, Lord, must every conversation I have with my brother be retarded?

He calls from a weird number, leaves a message...I hesitate, then call the weird number back...after all, he changes cell phones with alarming regularity. Maybe it's new.

Crap, it's not new. It's his girlfriend's. Hang up on the voicemail greeting.

A minute later, she calls back. "I'm calling this number back." Yeah, great, I got a message from this number about an hour ago. From [my brother's name]. She immediately sounds all suspicious. "Who is this?!" His sister, girlie. No one is trying to steal that moron from you.

So there's that.

Then there's the explaining 12 times what my schedule is for Spring Break. And him not deciding when the kiddies should come visit their favorite auntie.*

"Well, I dunno. Call me tomorrow morning. Or I'll call you tomorrow morning."

No, you'll call me after you make a decision, because I'm not having this conversation again tomorrow.

Have another joint, bro.
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* The kids have always referred to me as "their" [Jenelle]. "This is my [Jenelle]." "Where is my [Jenelle]?" It's not "my aunt [Jenelle]." It's a running joke in the extended family, because my cousins or whoever will say I was their [Jenelle] first to tease the kids. "No, she's my [Jenelle]!"

I thought they'd grow out of it, but it's sticking around...my niece brought a couple of her little friends into the house last weekend. She introduced me: "This is my [Jenelle]," to the first friend and, "That's my [Jenelle]," to the second friend. Then as an afterthought, as they were all running down the stairs, she said, "And [my sister's name] too!"

My sister, who was sitting right at the table with me and in no way hidden or obstructed, just laughed.
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UPDATE 3/15 afternoon: And talking to my niece and nephew on the phone is so the opposite of retarded.

My niece: "I'm on Spring Break for 10 days!"...I know, so am I..."You are too? Yay!!!" She's a wee excited.

My nephew: "Your monkey's talking to you." So cute, that one.

Just a Game

Sheesh, the team loses and suddenly people are biting your head off.

We have two conference champions, and no one could really expect a third.

Stupid money sports, sucking this year.

Yeah, I'm talking to you, football and men's basketball. Making (male) people grumpy with your colossal suck.

Spring Break

Normally, Spring Break would have begun for me yesterday at 3:30...but instead, we have a stupid group project due the week afterwards, so we're meeting to work on it tonight. You know, before everyone leaves town.

Bleh, group projects. How I despise thee.

So last night I camped out at the library until midnight (the magic hour when the university stops staffing the parking ramps and you get out for free), working on my part of the research. At least it's a fun topic, which will probably eventually find its way onto this blog. Or some other blog. Hmm. Actually, it'd be better for a different blog, so nevermind.

Will I have any Spring Break adventures? Maybe, baby. I am staying in town, working, for the first half, and a day trip is planned for that time. Then I am bolting altogether for the second half.

I want to do some spring cleaning and even some packing while I'm in town...I have to move in a couple months. (!)

I'll also have to do some schoolwork/studying, but that's not the worst thing in the world.

I might have some adult beverages. I hear some sort of drinking holiday is coming up...

5 yrs

Miss ya, Gram.

$20 Parking

Well, I took a chance, parking in a permit lot close to where I wanted to be today, and I of course got busted. Tricksey Parking Enforcement...they always catch me.

Anywho, it's not that I have nothing to blog about, it's just that I'm camping out at the library when I'm not in class. More of the same tomorrow...even though it's really crowded this week and I hate that. I definitely get more done there than at home, where there are too many distractions like cable tv, the internet, and my telephone.

I did come home early to catch the second run of the new South Park, which I thought was pretty good. Kyle beating the living hell out of Cartman is always a good thing, and he certainly deserved the beatdown tonight.

At a Loss

So this is midterm week (next week is Spring Break, woo!), and tomorrow I have to turn in a "first draft" of a 15-page research paper. The final paper is due at the end of the semester.

I don't know what the hell to do about this "first draft"...to me, a first draft is practically the final draft. Minor grammatical and sentence structure revisions are all that stand between my first drafts and final drafts.

So I guess I turn in some POS paper that is only half-done? Then the teacher gets to rip it apart and make suggestions, and then at the end of the semester I turn in some awesomeness that she gets to assume the credit for shaping and directing?

Is this high school now? WTF? It's an upper-level class. I don't get it.
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Now go help Frank J find a job.

It'll be good practice for you, because in May you'll need to help me find a job.

Cracka, Please

Whilst I was at the parental home, the male sibling wandered by and told me gleefully, "There's a South Park marathon this weekend." Then he asked, if you can believe it, "Did you know?"

Who does he think he's dealing with? No amateur, I.

I responded thusly: "You mean, a marathon like they do every weekend before a new season premieres, like this new season will premiere on Wednesday? Why, yes, I did know that."

Ever since Trey Parker snuck that marriage past me, I've had Matt Stone's Google activity closely monitored by my feedreader. Plus I visit South Park Studios daily. Like you do. (The universal "you"...not the specifically you "you".)

(Also, I will respond to comments in the post below...but not now. Paper to write!)

Party Animal

Well, kiddos, I am off for the weekend...having a little gathering to celebrate the upcoming birth of Second Niece.

Apparently First Niece has been banned from the premises for the festivities. Not my choice...I had planned on making her my little helper. But an adult who outranks me deemed it an adults only kinda thing. Hmph.

Mom has already called asking why I haven't left yet. Gotsta go!
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While I'm gone, consider this an open thread...suggested topics include favorite mixed drinks (include recipes), recommended song downloads, and the pros and cons of Glock semi-automatics. I look forward to all two of your comments when I get back.

Props for Originality

So normally as I am emptying my spam box, I can't help but glance at all the s3x t4p3 promises* in the subject line...always for various starlets.

But I recently got one for Jackie Chan.

Huh.

Think they know Jackie is not a Jacqueline?

I'm not against the male stars getting in on the action, but Jackie Chan seems so...random.

(* Trying not to Googlebait with the actual words. I get enough weirdness in my searches up in here. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Palestine. Pervs.)

Can I Hear An

Amen?

Sometimes You Feel Like a Quote

There are different versions...all with the same message.

First they came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up, because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me. -Martin Niemöller

Protecting rights means protecting them for everybody. If you let the Nazis take the Jews today, what is to stop them from taking you tomorrow?

Drama?

The upstairs neighbors are shouting again. This is a pretty regular occurrence. It sounds like they're fighting, but I'm not entirely sure, because I don't speak Mandarin or whatever it is they're speaking.

They only yell when it is around 11:00 pm or later. Got an early start tonight.

Doesn't sound violent, but it's annoying.
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So how are you? See any good movies lately? Read any decent books? Do tell.

Also, what do you think of this?

(click to enlarge)

She Said / She Said

There is nothing I say about my mom here that I won't (or don't) say to my mom herself.

She just got back from vacation, and we were on the phone. She asked how my sister was, since I had talked to her recently but Mom hasn't since before she left...

Me: She told me about her car accident that no one bothered to tell me about.

Mom: Oh. Well...

Me: She said, 'Did you hear about my car accident?' And I said, 'No, I just hear about how fat you are.'

Mom: (laughing/outraged) I don't say she's fat!

Me: (laughing) You do, too...you always tell me how huge she is and how she's going to have a 50 pound baby.

Mom: You need to stop picking on that girl.

Me: (laughing) Me? You're the one saying she's fat!

Mom: (laughing) But you're not supposed to repeat it. Especially to some poor hormonal, pregnant woman.

Me: I told her hearing how fat she is, is a nice change from hearing how fat I am.

Mom: I never tell you you're fat!

Me: (incredulous) Okay, Mom!

Mom: I never say that!

Me: Maybe you don't notice it, but I'll be sure to point it out when you do it while I visit this weekend.

Mom: I am hanging up this phone.

Me: (laughing) Oh, come on.

She didn't hang up on me, btw. We talked for another half hour.

Die, Fashion, Die!

So it's getting to be springtime (despite last night's ice and snow festivities) and I'm not one of those chicks who buy a whole new wardrobe every season, but I do like to add a few new pieces here and there. Freshen things up.

The problem is, the babydoll top trend is stubbornly sticking around for yet another season.

Beyond the "looking pregnant" problem with this clothing item, there is also the problem of boobage. I have it. And I don't particularly want to look like Beth Chapman. Most babydoll tops accentuate that area, and even though many of them also have a modesty panel in the "v" neckline...it is not modest enough for certain cup sizes. I'm not trying to be Chesty LaRue here. Not only do I not need to draw attention to the area, but I don't need to have ridiculous half-boob cleavage, either. And the scoopneck ones just don't usually have enough fabric between the empire waist (that obviously has to go under the breasts) and the neckline.

Beyond the babydoll top, there seem to be a lot of shapeless tunics and shift things that make a size-0 model look like a heifer.

I don't like ruching at the neckline, I don't like belting immediately below the bust...looks like plain v-neck tees for me this year.

The Decline of America

Ted left the following comment two posts down:

Welcome to the decline of America. Anyone who refers to the sitting president, whoever he is, as "that idiot" is shallow and classless. Sorry about ripping on your family, but there it is.

I know someone who's major gripe with the president is that he's not eloquent, therefore he's dumb. Lord knows there are plenty of things to dislike about the man's policies, but to assume he's stupid because he's not a great speaker is - again - shallow and classless.

People have forgotten how to agree to disagree.

Well, Ted, ignoring in this case the insult to my family (only I get to badmouth my parents around here, btw)...I'm curious about this decline of American political discourse to which you allude. I assume that is what you're referring to, rather than a general, overall decline in America.

Apparently there was some gentile era in American politics where opponents settled their differences over milk and cookies before settling into their footie pajamas and braiding each other's hair? Or did they braid each other's powdered wigs? I'm really not sure what time frame I should be going for here--the one where they shot each other and accused each other of adultery...or the one where they didn't shoot each other and accused each other of adultery.

American politics have never been overly friendly and full of warm fuzzy moments. The great thing about being a citizen in this country, though, is having the right to criticize those we've elected. Heck, even criticizing those we have yet to elect or not...I'll go on record right now as saying Barack Obama is all package, no substance. Now someone can add a knee-jerk "racist" to my "shallow" and "classless" tags.

I'm not racist. I am occasionally shallow, and some people I can't be bothered to care about might think I show an alarming lack of class. I am what I am, and "I ain't what I'm not". Or something like that.

But what I am is an American, and one of the benefits is to call the sitting president an idiot if I so choose. Or his wife a "Hildebeast". And so on and so on...

Looking Busy is an Artform

And I am truly an artist.

Therefore, it is very easy to spot the amateur...the girl at the function who isn't really interested in reading every single word of a boring pamphlet, but who is actually just too insecure to stand there with nothing to do.

You can't spend 15 minutes staring intently at a piece of paper that has about one minute of content on it. You have to mix it up!

Rough Gig

So now I'm at work and have some time to blog (heh)...

* I was carded again yesterday. There are three possibilities here: 1. my moisturizing regimen is truly awesome; 2. the purple hair makes me look younger; 3. the authorities are cracking down on ID checks. My guess is number 3.

* My procrastination is not limited to schoolwork. I have put off a lot of things for my sister's baby shower that I had hoped to be done with by now. Oh well, I have another week. To put it off.

* Back in The Day, when I blogged for an audience larger than the 4 of you, I "came out" as a Democrat when it became clear that people assumed I was a conservative. One conservative person whom I had been friendly with online immediately de-linked me. Now that blogger pops up every now and then to make snide remarks about how stupid my opinions are on other blogs. Strange, because when that blogger thought I was on the same team, they agreed with a lot of my opinions.

* There was something else, but I can't remember. I'll update later when I think of it.

White People

LOL Funny found via IMAO...Stuff White People Like.

You check it out. I'll be at work.

UPDATE: Arts Degrees. Heh.

These degrees enable white people to spend four years of their lives reading books, writing papers and feeling great about themselves.

With the added bonus of seeming like you're accomplishing something!

UPDATE 2: Wrigley Field:

Next to a Dave Matthews Band reunion concert, one can not find a bigger collection of khaki shorts and golf shirts than the Wrigley Bleachers.

UPDATE 3: Gifted Children:

White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?

I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.