Assisted Navel Gazing

I have a friend from back in my dropping-out-of-college days who I don't keep in very close contact with...we talk every few years, and that's usually when one of us runs into a mutual acquaintance. (It's usually the same acquaintance--one who worked with us and has a bit of a clusterf*ck of a personal life--that we like to gossip about.)

So now and then I get an email with the subject line: "Hey you old bat!" And I always know who that is...although one of my email addresses has stayed the same for all time, other people seem to like changing theirs. Whatevs.

Why the love in the subject line? Because back in the day, I was dating this (other) guy and he cheated and we broke up, and we all worked together...and since I was 19, I was super immature, so there was a lot of backstabbing and general fun times going on between the two of us. So one day the ex-bf was talking to my friend (we'll call him "Rick") about me, and quite angrily called me an old bat. At 19, I was an old bat. He was 26, btw. Well, Rick found this hi.lar.i.ous. and has never gotten over it. We have to relive the moment every time we talk.

So I get the email and his latest phone number, with instructions to call. After we went over the clusterf*ck girl's latest escapades, we started on other topics. His wife and kids, and my lack of husband and kids, and what we're up to otherwise...and I told him about the blog, and how it's the Kevin Pickett memorial website lately, and he's seen the show, so knew who I was talking about. Then that got us onto tattoos, and that led to Miami Ink, which led to me mentioning that Ami James is yummy.

So Rick says that Ami and Kevin are both kind of the grumps on their shows, and observes that I've always gravitated towards the grumpy young men. I can't deny this--I tend to get along with (male) people who hate people. So Rick says I don't hate people, so he wonders why I would find common ground with the grumps. So I say, "I don't know, Rick, why don't you tell me? You've always been pretty surly."

So apparently I'm nice and I don't treat people like I have ulterior motives, plus I don't try to be cool, and this appeals to the guys who hate people. So basically I'm some kind of pollyanna geekshow, is what I got out of the conversation.

But it's true about me and surly boys. The bartender who pretty much hates everyone in the bar? Gives me free drinks and hangs out, talking to me. The guy at work who spends all his time grumbling about everyone and says he hates everyone to some degree? Says he hates me the least, then when I leave the job, admits he didn't hate me even a little and begs me to come back. The grumpy uncle who thinks everyone is a pain in his ass? I'm his favorite niece.

And Rick said something that makes me get a little misty-eyed, that someone would think I'm that kind of person...he said that he thinks I subconsciously just seek out the people who need a friend, and become their friend. That may be the nicest thing anyone ever said to me, and I'd like to think I'm that person, but I'm not so sure...