Bless That Kid

Why, Lord, must every conversation I have with my brother be retarded?

He calls from a weird number, leaves a message...I hesitate, then call the weird number back...after all, he changes cell phones with alarming regularity. Maybe it's new.

Crap, it's not new. It's his girlfriend's. Hang up on the voicemail greeting.

A minute later, she calls back. "I'm calling this number back." Yeah, great, I got a message from this number about an hour ago. From [my brother's name]. She immediately sounds all suspicious. "Who is this?!" His sister, girlie. No one is trying to steal that moron from you.

So there's that.

Then there's the explaining 12 times what my schedule is for Spring Break. And him not deciding when the kiddies should come visit their favorite auntie.*

"Well, I dunno. Call me tomorrow morning. Or I'll call you tomorrow morning."

No, you'll call me after you make a decision, because I'm not having this conversation again tomorrow.

Have another joint, bro.
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* The kids have always referred to me as "their" [Jenelle]. "This is my [Jenelle]." "Where is my [Jenelle]?" It's not "my aunt [Jenelle]." It's a running joke in the extended family, because my cousins or whoever will say I was their [Jenelle] first to tease the kids. "No, she's my [Jenelle]!"

I thought they'd grow out of it, but it's sticking around...my niece brought a couple of her little friends into the house last weekend. She introduced me: "This is my [Jenelle]," to the first friend and, "That's my [Jenelle]," to the second friend. Then as an afterthought, as they were all running down the stairs, she said, "And [my sister's name] too!"

My sister, who was sitting right at the table with me and in no way hidden or obstructed, just laughed.
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UPDATE 3/15 afternoon: And talking to my niece and nephew on the phone is so the opposite of retarded.

My niece: "I'm on Spring Break for 10 days!"...I know, so am I..."You are too? Yay!!!" She's a wee excited.

My nephew: "Your monkey's talking to you." So cute, that one.