The Stupid Never Ends

Phone rings, it's my parents' house, I get excited because my sis is due in a little over a week.

Me: Hello?

My brother: Hey.

Me: What's going on?

My brother: Soooo...how are you?

Me: Good. What's going on?

My brother: Sooo, I don't know if Mom and Dad told you or not, but I might have another kid.

Me: What?

My brother: Yeah, the mother tried to blame it on another guy, but it turned out he's not the father, so now she said I am. The baby's already been adopted out, and they want me to sign the papers, so what do you think?

Me: Well, first of all, who's the mother?

My brother: Some crackhead.

Me: Nice. Condoms, [brother's name], condoms.

My brother: Yeah, yeah, so do you think I should sign the papers?

Me: Yes, I do. Let the kid have a good life.