She Said / She Said

There is nothing I say about my mom here that I won't (or don't) say to my mom herself.

She just got back from vacation, and we were on the phone. She asked how my sister was, since I had talked to her recently but Mom hasn't since before she left...

Me: She told me about her car accident that no one bothered to tell me about.

Mom: Oh. Well...

Me: She said, 'Did you hear about my car accident?' And I said, 'No, I just hear about how fat you are.'

Mom: (laughing/outraged) I don't say she's fat!

Me: (laughing) You do, too...you always tell me how huge she is and how she's going to have a 50 pound baby.

Mom: You need to stop picking on that girl.

Me: (laughing) Me? You're the one saying she's fat!

Mom: (laughing) But you're not supposed to repeat it. Especially to some poor hormonal, pregnant woman.

Me: I told her hearing how fat she is, is a nice change from hearing how fat I am.

Mom: I never tell you you're fat!

Me: (incredulous) Okay, Mom!

Mom: I never say that!

Me: Maybe you don't notice it, but I'll be sure to point it out when you do it while I visit this weekend.

Mom: I am hanging up this phone.

Me: (laughing) Oh, come on.

She didn't hang up on me, btw. We talked for another half hour.