September 10, 2006
Almost Perfect
Well, that was fun.
My mom has hit upon a solution to the problem with my brother. We give him up as a wash, and if his drug rehab takes and he becomes a productive and responsible member of society, we'll be pleasantly surprised. But we assume that won't happen.
Step two, we make her first child into a perfect testimony to her mad parenting skillz.
This will be accomplished by:
a.) Her eldest daughter wearing a size 2.
b.) Her eldest daughter getting married and having children.
c.) Her eldest daughter getting a Ph.D. so that after telling people about the son, she can say, "But my daughter has a doctorate in history and is a professor at (insert any college name here)."
My self-esteem is pretty battered right now. Par for the course after visiting the folks, really. But now the pressure to make up for the white trashiness of my brother has increased dramatically.
Posted by Jenelle at September 10, 2006 07:56 PM | TrackBackWould she settle for two out of three? Ah, sweet Jen, parents suck. Then we grow up and become them, only then to realize that we suck too. I wish you better than that.
Posted by: Rev. Mike at September 10, 2006 09:29 PMSize 2? Going for the Kate Moss/heroin chick look?
Posted by: Pete at September 11, 2006 07:02 AMParent's don't suck; they're just imperfect. Ironically though, many children fail to recognize or forgive them this universally human flaw.
As for a Ph.D, some kids, and a size two; I personally would've had you pegged as an internet video debutante, possibly a child or two, and a more buxom size 6 or so depending on height. But hey, my third eye into the future has been known to suffer from glaucoma. Not only does the ailment present an obvious occupational hazard for the little bugger, but the somewhat controversial method of treatment he's chosen has only seemed to skew his addled vision further; and leave my apartment floor littered with cookie crumbs and empty bags of Funions.
Posted by: shank at September 11, 2006 08:47 AMPete--my mother was 95 lbs when she graduated high school (at 5'4") and 103 pounds when pregnant with me. Which when I was in high school, I heard about often. She was very proud. Of course, she forgets that *she* only gained 8 pounds when criticizing her former daughter in law for a similar feat.
Shank--I deleted your link. We already had a talk about that sort of thing, and if you do it again, you just might get banned.
Posted by: Jenelle at September 11, 2006 11:27 AMDid I miss something good?
Posted by: Paul at September 11, 2006 01:18 PMWell having never seen a picture of you so I will say that a size 2 might be good for you but I get the feeling that it's not what you would consider healthy.
Posted by: Pete at September 11, 2006 05:37 PM