With a Twist(er)

So every year around this time, I have at least one nightmare about a tornado.

Last night I had one that started out with me oversleeping for a class, arriving late by riding the 10-speed I got for my 9th birthday (that my brother destroyed when I was 14) from my dorm room, and apologizing to my professor, Mike Rowe.

Then the weather started getting hinky, so I went to my parents' house (2 hours west in real-life) to shelter down. While there, the tornado sirens went off, and I looked outside while Dad stared at the warning on TV. A small tornado was coming right for us, with a large tornado behind it.

I told Dad we had to get to the basement right now, and he told me to take Buddy downstairs. Buddy is my dog that died in 2002. So Buddy and I went downstairs, expecting Mom and Dad to follow shortly. The first tornado hit, then the second tornado hit, and I was alone in the basement with Buddy. I looked out the window when it was over, and it looked like a hurricane had hit instead. There was floodwater everywhere, and boats floating around.

So I got into my parents' boat with Buddy, and saw my Dad swimming toward us. I helped him into the boat, then paddled over to the dock that was conveniently in front of my parents' house. I went inside to look for Mom, and yelled for her: "Mom?"

She responded in a totally normal voice, "Yes?"

"Oh my God," I was relieved.

"What? Did you find Him?"

"I think I did."

(See, Mom gets all upset when I declare my atheism. Like she's the most religious person in the world. But whatever, it was a pretty witty thing for her to say in my dream.)

So Mom was fine and basically slept through the whole thing.

/dream

Equalizing II

Good: Being at the hospital to see a new bebe.

Bad, yet conveniently located: Breaking my little finger while there.

Equalizing

The universe likes to balance the good (Bon Jovi) with the bad (hailstorm + my car).

So for the second time this year, I get to pay my deductible. And for the second time this year, it's through no fault of my own, other than parking my car in the cosmically wrong spot.

And it of course happens at the end of the semester when my cash on hand is low.

Sigh.

And Also?

(click to enlarge)

Weirdo

I just came home, and I live in an apartment building. We all have doors to the outside, and I walk past the neighbors' doors to get to my own.

I passed one door and made it to the next by the time the neighbor lady in the first door opened her door just to say, "Hi!" to me.

Those crazy foreigners and their friendliness.
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So a few days back, when I left my apartment in the morning, there was some debris outside the door. It happens. So I kicked it off to the side, and saw that part of the collection was a bone of some sort. Without inspecting it too closely, I thought it looked like a vertebra. Terrif! But it wasn't human (yay, osteology class!), so I left it there, figuring whatever scavenger deposited it near my door would take it away.

Three days later, it was still there. So last night I finally got a baggie and picked it up (it's still "fresh" although there is no tissue attached). After having a better look, it's not a vertebra, because the sides are incongruent. It might be a pelvic bone of some sort. Perhaps belonging to a squirrel?

Kewl.

Spring Cleaning=Done

So yesterday I mentioned that I had to empty my cabinets for pest control and all that.

Well, about 8:00 last night I started in. And what began as simply complying with orders soon snowballed into insane-level apartment cleaning and purging. The rubber gloves were on...half my belongings were being thrown into the dumpster...it was a good time.*

I got to bed a little late, but the place looks fantastic.

* Throwing stuff in the dumpster is the same thing as giving it away around here, so I don't feel guilty. I know none of the stuff worth anything made it to daylight out there.

Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

The worst thing ever.

I thought I left half a bottle of Diet Pepsi Max here at work last night, so when planning my refreshments for work today, I took that into account. I brought half a bottle of Lipton Diet Mixed Berry Green Tea to supplement the Max.

But.

It turns out, I decided at the last minute to take the Max home last night, and I drank it. And forgot.

So now I am expected to make it through 8 hours with only half a bottle of green tea. This does not meet my body's expected daily allowance of caffeine.

Commence plotting...there must be a boy somewhere in town willing and able to bring me some Max.

Diet Pepsi Max is my crack, people, and I own up to that.

The Day After

Well, despite drinking more than I have in quite some time,* I managed to escape any obvious signs of hangover. I quit fairly early and switched to water, and that seems to have helped.

* The first glass of wine was more than I've had to drink in quite some time. I'm old and boring.
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Speaking of boring, I am leaving town after work this afternoon...so this blog will be very slightly more boring than usual because I won't be posting much if at all. The effects on the overall entertainment values contained herein should be negligible.

Ta!

Burn the Bed

I woke up with what looks suspiciously like a spider bite on the bridge of my nose.

Clearly I must move away now.
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Happy St Pats, all! Drive carefully if you head out...it's Amateur Night.

Rough Gig

So now I'm at work and have some time to blog (heh)...

* I was carded again yesterday. There are three possibilities here: 1. my moisturizing regimen is truly awesome; 2. the purple hair makes me look younger; 3. the authorities are cracking down on ID checks. My guess is number 3.

* My procrastination is not limited to schoolwork. I have put off a lot of things for my sister's baby shower that I had hoped to be done with by now. Oh well, I have another week. To put it off.

* Back in The Day, when I blogged for an audience larger than the 4 of you, I "came out" as a Democrat when it became clear that people assumed I was a conservative. One conservative person whom I had been friendly with online immediately de-linked me. Now that blogger pops up every now and then to make snide remarks about how stupid my opinions are on other blogs. Strange, because when that blogger thought I was on the same team, they agreed with a lot of my opinions.

* There was something else, but I can't remember. I'll update later when I think of it.

The Greatest Thing Ever

I got carded today. First, she asked if I was 21. I was surprised, and managed to answer in the affirmative. She must not have had much faith in the answer, because then she asked to see my ID. She managed to look surprised herself when she saw the DOB.

Awesome.

Teenage Rebellion

So I wasn't kidding about the purple hair. We're trying it out in an inconspicuous manner right now...maintenance is the issue. If the color holds up for a reasonable amount of time before re-coloring, there may be a move to increasing the amount of purple hair on my head.

I was on the phone with my sister, and talking about plans for a new tattoo...then telling her about my hair situation. I told her whether or not I go for more purple depends on how much I feel like annoying Mom by the time of my next visit.

I was probably only half-kidding about that. I said, "Talking about a new tattoo...purple hair...I'm totally regressing! I don't wanna grow up!"

So usually breakups cause me to do drastic things to my hair, but in this case, I think it's graduation. My last hurrah before I dye my hair back to natural and get a job and maybe think about being a "normal" adult for the rest of my life.

Assisted Navel Gazing

I have a friend from back in my dropping-out-of-college days who I don't keep in very close contact with...we talk every few years, and that's usually when one of us runs into a mutual acquaintance. (It's usually the same acquaintance--one who worked with us and has a bit of a clusterf*ck of a personal life--that we like to gossip about.)

So now and then I get an email with the subject line: "Hey you old bat!" And I always know who that is...although one of my email addresses has stayed the same for all time, other people seem to like changing theirs. Whatevs.

Why the love in the subject line? Because back in the day, I was dating this (other) guy and he cheated and we broke up, and we all worked together...and since I was 19, I was super immature, so there was a lot of backstabbing and general fun times going on between the two of us. So one day the ex-bf was talking to my friend (we'll call him "Rick") about me, and quite angrily called me an old bat. At 19, I was an old bat. He was 26, btw. Well, Rick found this hi.lar.i.ous. and has never gotten over it. We have to relive the moment every time we talk.

So I get the email and his latest phone number, with instructions to call. After we went over the clusterf*ck girl's latest escapades, we started on other topics. His wife and kids, and my lack of husband and kids, and what we're up to otherwise...and I told him about the blog, and how it's the Kevin Pickett memorial website lately, and he's seen the show, so knew who I was talking about. Then that got us onto tattoos, and that led to Miami Ink, which led to me mentioning that Ami James is yummy.

So Rick says that Ami and Kevin are both kind of the grumps on their shows, and observes that I've always gravitated towards the grumpy young men. I can't deny this--I tend to get along with (male) people who hate people. So Rick says I don't hate people, so he wonders why I would find common ground with the grumps. So I say, "I don't know, Rick, why don't you tell me? You've always been pretty surly."

So apparently I'm nice and I don't treat people like I have ulterior motives, plus I don't try to be cool, and this appeals to the guys who hate people. So basically I'm some kind of pollyanna geekshow, is what I got out of the conversation.

But it's true about me and surly boys. The bartender who pretty much hates everyone in the bar? Gives me free drinks and hangs out, talking to me. The guy at work who spends all his time grumbling about everyone and says he hates everyone to some degree? Says he hates me the least, then when I leave the job, admits he didn't hate me even a little and begs me to come back. The grumpy uncle who thinks everyone is a pain in his ass? I'm his favorite niece.

And Rick said something that makes me get a little misty-eyed, that someone would think I'm that kind of person...he said that he thinks I subconsciously just seek out the people who need a friend, and become their friend. That may be the nicest thing anyone ever said to me, and I'd like to think I'm that person, but I'm not so sure...

Current Money Problems=Gone

Guess who won $2700 yesterday?

Hint=not you.

UPDATE: The deets are, I was dragged to the casino last night. My luck is notoriously and epically bad, so I may as well set my money on fire rather than gamble with it. But I gave in.

I hit $420 on the first machine, then made a little more. I put the $400 plus my original starting cash away, and figured I'd goof off with the rest. I was down to $4 on a machine that allows you to play 25¢, 50¢, or $1 (x2), and on a lark, I switched off quarters to dollars to blow my dollars on two plays. I hit an $1800 jackpot on that. Had to give up my tax info and everything.

Then I made my way around a few more machines, making at least $150 on each. The only machine that didn't give it up was a penny machine. All the dollar machines were my bitch.

So after taxes and everything were taken out of my $1800 win, I walked out of the casino with $2700 more than I went in with.

I fully expected to die in a fiery car crash or something on the way home, just so my luck would return to its natural equilibrium.

You Don't See That Everyday...

...BLIZZARD WARNING...

And, hoo-boy, is it cold and windy out. My afternoon class was cancelled, so I got to come home early and crank up the thermostat.

One thing I tend to do whenever I get home--from work, school, WalMart, whatever--is strip immediately and put on my "comfy clothes." Right now, for example, I am rocking the flannel pajama bottoms, oversized sweatshirt, and ponytail action.

Where other people put on sweatpants, I put on flannel pajama pants. And yes, I do occasionally (but rarely) go out in public with my flannel pants. I try to wear the muted ones if that happens...the moons holding their teddy bears and wearing a stripey nightcap are a little too obvious. Meaning, if I wear those outside, I have obviously been wearing them since the night before.
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Btw, anyone keeping track at home can add $50 to my textbook expenses for the semester...I had to buy a "coursepack" yesterday. Those are collections of journal articles and the like that professors put together and have printed and bound for the class. Most professors these days post them to the course website online, but occasionally one of them is a lazy bastard. Or technologically backwards.
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I had to type a short paper in French, and that sucked. I hate having to type the accents and crap. Plus then I have to remember the accents and crap. The final project for that class will be around 10 pages, so I look forward to a few late nights cursing the French for not obliterating their special characters.
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Margaret Truman died. I read her books The President's House, First Ladies, and Harry S. Truman. She'll be missed.

Ink, Part Two

Or I could just get a new tat altogether...

(click to enlarge)

(No, not really. In case you were worried.)

Ink

So, I have this lizard tattoo on my foot that I'm not so crazy about. So I've been deciding what to do with it, and here is my idea...

A rose vine. The vines will be tribal-ish but not black tribal. Green tribal. The rosebuds will have letters stylized into the buds, for special people that I am related to and will never "break up" with...subtle-like. With the bonus of being able to add more buds for new people.

Then underneath/around somehow, the phrase: "Dans l'étendue la plus blanche la plus sèche du désert infini de douleur, j'ai perdu ma santé mentale et je trouvai cette rose." Which translates into: "In the driest whitest stretch of pain's infinite desert, I lost my sanity and found this rose." A little Rumi for you.

Thoughts?

Miss Me?

I've been gone for enough days to have deleted hundreds of accumulated spam messages.

Saw the niece and nephew, who have always had their little nicknames...and my nephew has approved the new nickname for the new niece who is on the way: FrogPants. Does it make sense? No. That is part of the fun. TurkeyLips, or the Original Niece, does not approve of the new nickname. But she did not offer any alternatives, and the nephew was gleefully chanting, "FrogPants! FrogPants! FrogPants!" So FrogPants it is.

Anywho, the Final Semester begins tomorrow. New notebooks, new promises to self to be a diligent student, and I am all set.

Now that I think about it, could FrogPants be misconstrued as some sort of perversion? Let me know, Shank. If anyone can find the nastiness in it, it's you.

Oh, and also? My sister getting knocked up and having a wedding is really working out in my favor. Mom is spending all kinds of money on her, and feeling her weird mom-guilt about it, so she gave me some money before I left. I didn't ask for it, and it's usually Dad handing out the spending cash. Mom's a weirdo...she thinks we all keep score on how much money she spends on us for birthdays, Christmas, whatever. Plus she was talking about helping me out with all my student loans. Which she didn't do 12 years ago, but wants to do now? Without any hints or asking on my part? Whatevs.

Reading Continues

Albeit slower than anticipated. I have moved on to my third and presumably last book of my winter reading. Ghosts of Vesuvius ends with a chapter on the WTC, so I decided to take up some lighter fare: The Spanish Inquisition.

How could it be lighter fare? No matter how angry I get about religious persecution, when I read/hear/think "the Spanish Inquisition"...I have to say/think, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

Plus my other choice was about Jewish ghetto life in Nazi Germany, and I really can't take that right now. So I chose the thousands dead in medieval history over the millions dead in recent history.

Not that the passage of time makes me less angry or sad, but the horror of Nazi Germany is a special kind of horrific.

Thoughts on Food

I just returned from the grocery store. Mental note: never go there again on a Sunday evening.

I bought a veggie tray, because I like veggies. Not a big fan of prep work, though. And I must say, I don't understand why they have to degrade the deliciousness of my veggie trays with cauliflower. I was never a no-veggie-eating kind of kid...although I did pick out the cooked carrots from stews, etc. Love raw carrots, but hate cooked carrots. I think I've mentioned this a few times, but honestly it can never be said enough. Love green beans--prefer the whole or cut beans as opposed to "French style" (stringy, ridiculous), but I'll eat them however they come to me. And I'll put broccoli in anything. I'll eat a plate of steamed broccoli. And I have. But back to cauliflower...really? This is supposed to be appealing? Tiny little brains that taste vaguely of...I don't know...maybe it's dirt? If veggie trays came in carrots-celery-broccoli only, I'd be thrilled. I even try the cauliflower every time to make sure they're still not good. I had some ten minutes ago. Still not good.

I also bought oatmeal packets. I've always liked oatmeal. I have my preparation method down pat so that it is the perfect consistency for me: a little on the runny side, not mushy. When we were kids, my brother and I burned through the oatmeal. Then they started coming out with the fruit and cream varieties...peaches and cream, strawberries and cream, whatever. Yuck. I hated those things. My brother loves them. So when Mom would buy the stupid fruit and cream oatmeals, I wouldn't touch the stuff. They're just a weird consistency and sickly sweet. Maple and brown sugar, though? Love it. Raisin and spice? Ditto.

And thus ends my thoughts on food. Thanks for stopping by.

Purge

Purge.

That is my only resolution. To get rid of the deadwood, real and imagined.

I'm a bit of a packrat, and it is time to unload the unnecessary.

The things I don't use, and the people who only use.

Purge.

In Pursuit of Unhealth

Cherry Almond Cappucino (cappuccino? whatevs, I'm too lazy to check)...

Even the smell is fattening.

Totally worth it.

Singletons

Dear world and especially MSN.com today:

Being single at holiday time is not the worst thing to ever happen to a person. In fact, there are benefits.

1. Save money by not having to buy present(s) for a significant other. Or their parents.

2. No angst over whether or not particular present(s) are appropriate to your relationship's commitment level (after figuring out if you and your sig-other agree on your relationship's commitment level).

3. No problem figuring out which house hosts Christmas.

4. No navigation of (potential) in-laws and their unique family traditions and menus.

5. You are able to get in and out of the crowded stores without waiting for anyone else to get their shopping done.

6. You get to put as many nuts as you want in your chocolate chip cookies.

I am 33 and unmarried, and somehow I will manage not to slit my wrists on Christmas Eve...no matter how sad other people (MSN.com) seem to think I should be. I don't need to fight off the blues, I don't need to lurk around bookstores to find a hookup, and I don't need to check my love horoscope to see if I'll find true love in 2008. Singleness is not a dreadful disease to be avoided at all costs. I am an actual whole person who functions on a daily basis whether or not I have a husband or boyfriend. Get a grip.

Love,

Me

Oven of Suck

So, we're having a Christmas party potluck for work tonight, and we all had to sign up to bring whatever. I chose a dessert, which will be cookies. I made both chocolate chip cookies and sugar cookies. The chocolate chip cookies went okay, but by the time I got to the sugar cookies, my oven developed severe temperature modulation issues. The recipe called for baking 10-12 minutes, but one batch was burnt by 7 minutes. Finally I ended up turning the oven off altogether, then turning it back on at a lower temperature and checking the cookies every minute for doneness. Ridiculous.

Oh, and I was lazy*, so my sugar cookies are not trees and stars and santas. They are circles. And I will give you my secret for relatively mess-free sprinkle cookies...roll your dough into little balls, keeping the ones you aren't baking in the refrigerator until they are ready to bake. Put sprinkles in a container (a paper plate works well), then take your little dough ball and squish the "top" into the sprinkles. Transfer to your cookie sheet. The sprinkles stay embedded on the cookie and don't go all over the place like they would if you poured the sprinkles onto the top of the cookie on the sheet. Plus excess sprinkles stay on the plate or other container.

* Actually, I was just super-pissed off after all my shapes got burnt in the beginning, and figured if I'm burning sh*t, it should be low-maintenance sh*t.

Feeling It, Not Believing It

I like Christmas--buying and wrapping the presents, making cookies, the old claymation tv specials, and the music.

I love singing Christmas songs, especially the more religious/inspirational ones like Silent Night and O Come All Ye Faithful and The Little Drummer Boy. I sing O Holy Night pretty much year-round (to myself, of course).

The thing is, I love singing songs like that--I sing The Battle Hymn of the Republic and Amazing Grace all the time. I was in the church choir in my younger days when my parents actually belonged to a church.

But even back in the day, I didn't actually believe in the words of those songs. I can see why true believers would be inspired and uplifted by hymns and carols, but my enjoyment has always been mostly aesthetic.

Much as my enjoyment of Christmas as a whole is aesthetic rather than spiritual. I'm afraid I'm just a pagan at heart.

Wooooooooo!

Best. Christmas. Present. Ever.

Bon Jovi tickets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: Woooooooooooooo!!!!!!

UPDATE 2 (on 11/29): In the words of Ric Flair, "Wooooooooo!!!!"

Black Friday

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving. I went to the parents' for the day and had a childless dinner for the first time in 7 years. The niece and nephew were with their hagtastic mother. There was no one to show my half-chewed food by opening my mouth when Mom wasn't looking. (Yes, I am immature and a bad influence.)

I am now back at work. And bored out of my head, since everyone on the planet is apparently at the mall--meaning, they are not here. No, I did not go to Kohl's at 4 a.m., either. Had enough of that sort of thing last year. I specifically told my boss he had to schedule me today so I wouldn't get dragged into that shopping while it's dark out foolishness.

That's all I have.

Oh, here's a question...did you eat anything peculiar this year? We had pecan pie for the first time ever (at Thanksgiving).

You Have No Idea...

Him: You're a little weird.

Me: I'm not weird...I'm delightfully quirky.

Him: Oh really?

Me: Yes. Mostly because I like saying the word 'quirky'.

(And I do. It's one of those words that is very satisfying in the mouth and to the tongue. Quirky, quirky.)

Senior Year Panic

I graduate in May, barring a complete nervous breakdown before then.

I have insomnia, my procrastination has reached nearly-destructive levels, and I'm considering taking an Acting class.

The problem is, I have student loans looming in the distance, and I still haven't really figured out what I want to be when I grow up. Or if I want to grow up.

Well, that's not true...I know I don't want to grow up. But I know I have to.

And when I look through courses I can take next semester, I keep looking at classes I'll never have another chance to take...and they're all in totally new areas of study, instead of being actually useful. You know, like Intro to the Brain, Roman Art History, or Acting...

But maybe Acting could be useful? Help me with the confidence to present material to groups? Am I reaching with that? Yes, yes I am.

I'm too old to be so childish.

UPDATE: Oh, and also? I may be actually going through a mid-life crisis, because I am positive I need one of these.

Hi, Pete

You commented, which updated the blog, which took all content off the main page. Way to go.

I'm busy. For reals. 18 semester hours of classes, 3 hours of which include doing a major research project for a museum. Two jobs. And a new guy.

As I am now about eight months away from returning to the real world, I seem to have ended the younger-guy phase of my life. The new guy is older. Significantly older, but...grateful. At least he's younger than my dad, and isn't that the most important thing? He's older than my youngest uncle, granted, but the important thing here is we're avoiding that squicky "daddy issues" territory.

Aaaaannywhooo...

I will try to blog more, but we've been through this before.

I'm Taking a Mulligan

Well, I woke up at 6 a.m., got dressed and prettied up, gathered my luggage, left my hotel room, and proceeded to fall down a full flight of stairs. The only witness was a security camera. Somewhere in Minnesota, some security guards got a good laugh at that, I'm sure. Think Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford.

After determining nothing was probably broken, sprained, or bleeding (miraculously) and that my worst injury appeared to be the missing skin from one of my hands, I gathered my things with as much dignity as I could muster and left the hotel.

Around 8:15 a.m. I remembered for the first time that it was my birthday, and called my mom from the road. During the conversation, she asked if I use tampons. Umm, what? Turns out she grabbed up a ton of free tampon samples at her gym despite the fact she doesn't have any need for such a product, and she offered them to me as a gift. Happy birthday, indeed.

I made it to Uncle D's house, where my dad was staying, and got an unfortunate glimpse of my Uncle D in his underwear.

Then we went to my Uncle R's funeral, which was not attended by two of my other uncles because they had made Jerry-Springer type plans to tell off the widow. My Uncle D told them if they couldn't attend the funeral and behave themselves, not to come at all. Uncle D is their older brother, and they listened. It's very disappointing that the two younger uncles couldn't set aside their petty personal feelings to pay their respects to Uncle R, but it's somehow comforting that sibling dynamics remain in place even into people's 40s, 50s, and 60s.

The funeral was, you know, a funeral. But when you're mourning the loss of someone who stopped being the person you once knew, it is somehow not as bad. Uncle R wasn't Uncle R anymore, and most of us had mourned his loss years ago. But I consulted with my Cousin A, and she too is freaked out about the first of that generation dying--and maybe more than I am, since Uncle R was younger than her dad (Uncle D).

Following the funeral, I went to the after-gathering. I spent most of my time with Uncle R's kids. They're cousins I don't see all that often, but I used to hang out with the daughter a lot in the summer when we were kids. The son's always been adorable, and he still is. He'll be a cute little lawyer in a year or so. Well, maybe not "little"...he's over 6'0".

At 5 p.m., I left and drove around 8 hours to get home. And here I am. Worst birthday ever. I was reconciled to the funeral and all that, because I'm not totally self-centered. But the falling down the stairs (and I am hella-sore, so I know I'll wake up stiff as a board tomorrow) and the tampon present, I can not tolerate. I call do-overs.

A Better Day

Yesterday, I had class all day...and a quiz in each one. Then went to a 9-11 memorial service in the evening.

Today, I only have my evening class and work for a few hours, so I will have time to run some errands and pack. Tomorrow right after classes I'll be heading out of town for my uncle's funeral, which will be Friday morning.

Friday is my Scottie Pippen birthday, and I'll be surrounded by tons of family. So there's that.

Neglect

Why, yes, it has been a long time. I make no excuses other than the usual...busy, lazy, take your pick. Let's move on, shall we?

Classes started this week. I have a heavy load this semester, with lots of reading.* I'll be camped out at the library more than usual. Well, make that libraries, because I intend to haunt the Law Library in addition to the Main Library this semester. I'll be doing research on legal cases from the early statehood days. Good times, good times.

Yesterday, I was a little too ambitious in the backpack department...as in, how much weight I could carry around all day. I almost fell off the bus when I stepped up on it and the pack shifted, pulling me backwards. That was so smooth I can't even stand it. So I'm going to have to keep my laptop at home and pare down the number of books I take on my "full days" of Tuesday and Thursday.

* Unnecessarily, I might add, since I'm already going to be graduating with extra credits. The only reason I have inflicted this on myself is so I can get tons of awesome learny goodness crammed in during this, my last year of school. (Unless I do grad school.) After all, when you're full time, extra hours do not mean extra tuition and fees, so the only costs are books and sanity.

Anyway, after this semester I will have all the requirements complete for one of my majors, and only one more class required for the other. Next semester will be the completion of my foreign language requirements, and that will be all she wrote...and then I'll have to grow up again and like get a job or something. My second childhood is nearing its end...the second adulthood looms on the horizon.

Mother Nature on My Side

So. The new apartment doesn't have air conditioning. It does have an outlet for a window A/C, but I decided I'm rugged and outdoorsy enough not to need to buy one for the one measly year I plan on living here. I mean, it's not like this is Miami or something.

Plus, I conveniently work indoors during the hottest hours of the day.

Except on my days off, and I can't hide in the mall because I hate the mall.

Luckily, the weather forecast is cooperating. It's been around 90 each day for awhile now, but on my one day off next week, the temps are nose-diving to a high of 80. And the lows will actually be sub-70 overnight. Niiiice.

The Return of the Jen-I

I found a nice, new route from this town to my vacation spot of choice...and it is the same amount of time as from my old town to said VSOC. Just in time for this to most likely have been my last trip between the two. Hrm.

Anywho, all routes from Iowa to VSOC go through the Twin Cities. Usually St Paul on the 35E rather than Minneapolis on the 35W, and a good thing, too. My brother was on the 35E when the 35W collapsed. But. I have lots of friends and family members who live in the Twin Cities. After all, if you're going to escape from Duluth-Superior, the closest logical choice is Minneapolis-St Paul. Luckily all of them are fine. Scary moment when we first heard (at about 7:00 that night, in a local bar), and then there was much camping out in front of a cable TV for the next day--something I normally shun when on vacation.

If you're the praying kind, say one for the missing eight and their families. The only thing worse than losing a loved one would have to be not having them recovered, I think.
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Glad to see Keith and his loved ones are safe.
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Helpful Hint: Before going on vacation, check the bathroom(s) after you make the kids "try to go" in order to make sure they flushed. Good Lord, the smell.
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If you emailed me and I have not responded, your email was deleted with the 962 spams I had in my spam folder. Please try again.

Ciao

I'm on vacation as of...now. Back 8/6ish.

Another Weekend, Another Untouched To-Do List

I've gotten incredibly lazy lately. I had a list of things to accomplish with my 4th of July off, and I accomplished nothing on that list.

Now it is Sunday, and the to-do list that carried over from the 4th has still been ignored. I sign my new lease next Monday, and I was kind of hoping to have a lot of boxes ready to move that day, but...my procrastination has been hitting epic levels all year, so why should the summer be any different?

It's hot and I am a sloth. The end.

Meme, Take Two

Rachel Lucas re-imagined the previous meme...

WHAT INSULTING NICKNAMES WERE YOU CALLED IN CHILDHOOD? I honestly never had a nickname. I was either too well-liked or too boring to get one. I gave some out, and demanded one of my friends to give me one. She dubbed me "Neon Green", which was either an homage to my attention-grabbing personality or an homage to my neon green-colored socks. It was the 80s.

WHEN YOU CRY, DO YOU LOOK UGLY, OR DOES IT GIVE YOU A BEAUTIFUL SAD GLOW? Oh, definitely ugly. Blotchy skin, swollen eyes if it's done right.

ARE YOU FORGETTING HOW TO WRITE BECAUSE YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON THE COMPUTER? No, I take a lot of in-class essay quizzes and exams. I can still write.

DO YOU THINK VEGETARIANS ARE INSANE? (BECAUSE THEY ARE.) No, not the ones who aren't militant about it. I myself can't dwell on the source of my food for too long without losing my appetite, so I can see why some people choose the no-meat lifestyle. The militants just piss me off--by reminding me of the source of my food and making me lose my appetite.

DO YOU LIKE KIDS? IF SO, WHY? WHY, IN THE NAME OF GOD? Yes, I like kids. Kids are honest. Unless they're trying to get out of trouble, but in that case they are terrible liars. I like knowing what people are really thinking. Plus kids are just funny. My nephew (age 5) saw a Transformers preview and said seriously, "Why are they freaking me out?" You had to be there, but that was funny.

IF YOU WERE A DOG, WOULD YOU LICK YOURSELF JUST BECAUSE YOU COULD? DON'T TRY TO DENY IT. Yes, but I'd try not to do it in polite company.

ARE YOU AS FRIGHTENED OF CLOWNS AS YOU SHOULD BE IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU? I've never been afraid of clowns. Pool drains, on the other hand...

IF YOU COULD BE EITHER VERY BEAUTIFUL OR VERY SMART, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WHY? Very smart. Because you can be very beautiful to start out with and ruin it with your idiocy. See: Britney Spears. Then you have nothing. Plus, brains are just more interesting.

HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD YOU REQUIRE TO HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH MICHAEL MOORE OR ROSIE O'DONNELL (DEPENDING ON YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE BUT DOES THAT REALLY MATTER WITH THESE TWO)? Hmm. I have a lot of student loans I'd like to see disappear...and I could use a new car...$100K. But everyone has to shower ahead of time, and use protection. I know a lot of people will say no amount in the world, but you're all damned liars. I'm cheap, but I'm honest.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CUSS WORD? Fuckface. Assface. Both seem to come out frequently when I'm driving. Otherwise, I just say "Goddamnit" a lot. Sorry, SarahK. And Mom. And God, I guess.

IF YOU'RE A MAN, HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT YOUR JUNK IN YOUR ZIPPER? HOW BAD DID IT HURT? IF YOU'RE A WOMAN, HOW GLAD ARE YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT A MAN? To the third question--Extremely. No one can tell I'm thinking dirty thoughts unless I want them to know I'm thinking dirty thoughts.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO GROW OLD OR DIE TRAGICALLY YOUNG? I can't really picture myself as an old woman, but then again I picture myself as being much younger than I really am. So I may just be in denial. If family history is any indication, I may get to 80ish. I hope I don't get to retirement age and kick it right away like my grandfathers. That would suck beyond all reason.

DESCRIBE YOUR MOST RECENT NIGHTMARE. I don't remember the last time I had a nightmare. Yesterday morning I dreamt I was visiting my old high school and talking to my former best friend. She just stopped talking to me when we were 21, and I never did find out why. I was asking her why, mentioning that it was pretty shitty to just stop talking to a best friend of ten years, but woke up before I got an answer.

DO YOU WISH THAT, INSTEAD OF PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION DEBATES, THEY INSTEAD HAD TO BOX EACH OTHER, BECAUSE THEN THERE'D NEVER EVER BE ANOTHER DEMOCRAT IN THE WHITE HOUSE? How about an IQ test? And an economics exam? For any public office.

ABBA: THE BLONDE OR THE BRUNETTE? You notice the blonde first, but the brunette has a little something extra. She looks smarter somehow. I assume we are talking about the girls, because both of the guys are lame.

WHAT DISEASE DO YOU MOST FEAR CONTRACTING? Alzheimer's. I have an uncle who was diagnosed with early-onset before he was fifty, and it's terrifying. Also, I had an old man wander into my work one night in just his underwear. He had wandered off from the hotel across the street and didn't know where he was. He kept repeating, "I'm not a bad person." So he knew. That's the scariest part--knowing you're not all there.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE LEAST? The guy I worked for at the above-mentioned work. He was a total jackass.

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DO YOU HATE SHOPPING FOR NEW CLOTHES (10 BEING SO MUCH YOU'D RATHER CLEAN THE CAT BOX WITH YOUR BARE HANDS). Umm, a 2? It's a mild nuisance, like anything else involving me venturing out into public. :-)

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE BEFORE THE LAST TIME YOU THREW UP? I don't remember, because it didn't come back up. Everything was digested from the night before and I was virally sick, so just bile came up.

NAME FIVE "CLASSIC" POPULAR SONGS YOU HOPE YOU NEVER HEAR AGAIN AS LONG AS YOU LIVE. I don't know about "classic", but: that John Mayer "Waiting for the World to Change" piece of nonsense, The Pussy Cat Dolls' "Don'cha" abortion, Sisqo's "The Thong Song", Chamillionaire's "Riding Dirty" which I will never understand how it gets so much radio play, and Beyonce's "Irreplaceable"--if he's so easily replaced, you weren't really in love with him, anyway.

IF YOU WERE A DOG, WHICH BREED WOULD YOU BE? Lhasa Apso--smart, yet cute. I'll come when called if I feel like it, and you'll pet me when I feel like it. And I may not be very big and strong, but I'll bark at danger and think I'm tough.

FAVORITE BODILY FUNCTION? (COUGH, SNEEZE, BELCH, POOP, FART, YAWN, ETC) Orgasm? That's a bodily function, right? Okay, I checked. And it is. So Orgasm. Definitely.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A HUGE FIGHT WITH, WHAT WAS THE FIGHT ABOUT, AND WHO WON? I had a fight with a friend of mine who spread my business around, resulting in a lack of trust and an end to the friendship...the friendship had some flaws already anyway, but it was the last straw. No one won.

AS WE ALL KNOW, PRO FOOTBALL IS THE ONLY SPORT WORTH CARING ABOUT. IN LIGHT OF THAT FACT, WHO IS THE BEST NFL QUARTERBACK OF THE LAST 10 YEARS? BEST RUNNING BACK? BEST WIDE RECEIVER? BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER? BIGGEST PRIMA DONNA? WHINIEST BITCH? Aren't they all in jail, except for Peyton Manning? Best defensive player is Brian Urlacher because I am a Bears fan. The rest? Can't be bothered to think about them. They're all overpaid assholes anymore.

BALD MEN ARE VERY SEXY. DISCUSS. Agreed. Bruce Willis, yum. But really, it's the person more than the hair or lack thereof. A sexy man is sexy no matter what's going on with his follicles.

THE INVENTION OF THE PILL IS A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO BELIEVE IN GOD. DISCUSS. It's a good enough reason to believe in the intelligence of the human species...to be able to enjoy the act without nature's intended consequence of offspring? Nice. However, the pill does not protect against HIV or other STDs, so I have to encourage condom use. Not that any of y'all listen.

DO YOU HAVE PERFECT VISION? IF SO, RACHEL LUCAS ENVIES YOU WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND GALAXIES. Nope, I am extremely near-sighted. Rachel envies me not a jot.

FOOD YOU FIND SO REPUGNANT THAT YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE OTHER PEOPLE PUT IT IN THEIR MOUTHS? Cooked carrots. Seriously, people, they make me gag. Raw carrots are awesome. Cooked carrots taste like vomit.

WHEN YOU GO TO THE MOVIES AND THE JERK BEHIND YOU KICKS YOUR SEAT CONSTANTLY, DO YOU IGNORE/MOVE OR DO YOU CHALLENGE THEM TO FISTICUFFS? Never had this problem. I've asked talkers or cell phone users to keep it down, though.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED THAT MADE YOU GET ON YOUR KNEES AFTERWARDS AND BEG GOD TO GIVE YOU THE LAST TWO HOURS OF YOUR LIFE BACK? Always...given to me by a then-boyfriend who absolutely loved it. I wanted to like it, I really did. Anyone want the DVD?

DO YOU EVER PUT CLOTHES ON YOUR PETS? I don't have any pets.

BEER, WINE, OR LIQUOR? Liquor, definitely. I likes the mixed drinks.

FALL ASLEEP OR CUDDLE? Get dressed and go home. I kid! Sleep--the cuddling's over.

FAVORITE FOOD THAT YOU KNOW WILL KILL YOU EVENTUALLY BUT YOU DON'T CARE BECAUSE IT IS JUST SO FREAKING DELICIOUS? Nachos. I love nachos. Anything with cheddar cheese on it, actually. Mmm, nachos.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DISGUSTED BY A BOOK'S ENDING THAT YOU VIOLENTLY DESTROYED THE BOOK? Nope.

DO YOU HAVE P0RN ON YOUR COMPUTER? DON'T LIE. I don't save the pr0n. Except this, which isn't really pr0n since you only see pubes.

TRUE OR FALSE: "REALITY" T.V. IS THE BEST REASON FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD TO HATE AMERICA. True, definitely.

FAVORITE DRUNKEN SLATTERN: PARIS, LINDSEY, OR BRITNEY? Britney...she brings a higher level of the crazy. Plus a boy I used to like thought she was great and it just shows he had terrible taste in women--backed up by the fact he lost interest in me. ;-)

MOST DESERVING OF CHUCK-NORRIS-STYLE ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE THROAT: AL GORE OR JESSE JACKSON? Jesse Jackson.

WHAT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME YOU GOT DRUNK? 'FESS UP. I wandered around my dorm, hanging out with a drunken Bostonian. I could never understand his accent until that night--it was beyond thick. He tore down an "exit" sign, we thought we looked all nonchalant while stumbling past the security guards, and he confessed his love for my roommate, who was trying to make out with a different guy but we kept interrupting them. Good times. The next day I had the dry heaves. Good times...not big on rum anymore.

IF YOU COULD HAVE MAD SKILLZ IN DANCING OR IN SINGING, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WOULD IT BE FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL SATISFACTION OR TO IMPRESS OTHER PEOPLE AND POSSIBLY GET SOME ACTION? Singing, and it would be purely to impress others, because I already sing to myself and pretend I'm Aretha over here.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WOULD YOU USE IT FOR GOOD OR EVIL? Reading minds, and I'd definitely use it however I could. Mwah hah hah!

IF YOU NEVER SEE ANOTHER Q&A MEME AGAIN, WILL IT BE TOO SOON? Nah, I like memes...they keep me from having to think up actual content.

Crack

This may be the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

Diet Pepsi with extra caffeine? Oh, God, yessss!

I drank some yesterday and was awake until 3 a.m. Clearly the greatest invention ever. Ever. Of course, I am also the kind of person who thinks caffeine-free Mountain Dew misses the point completely. I really do not understand why there is a market for such a thing. I mean, really. Could there be anything more useless in the world? Besides caffeine-free diet Mountain Dew?

Meme-ish

Taken from Tuning Spork...

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

No, neither of my names were chosen for anyone. My dad picked my first name and my mom hated it but gave in as long as I wouldn't be a "Jenny".

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

June 4...I was sick and hurt all over. Thought briefly that death would be preferable, but banished the thought. It's bad juju to think that way.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Sure, why not? It varies a bit, though. I can have girly, careful writing or messy, flourishy writing depending on context.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Not big on lunch meat. I have turkey subs occasionally, so turkey, I guess.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

No. Beginning to look like I never will, but I'm getting okay with that. Can always adopt someone for 30¢ a day...

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Of course. I'm awesome.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

No, never.
/sarcasm

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Probably not. I enjoy rollercoasters and the like, but hoping a rubberband keeps your head from smashing into the ground below seems unnecessarily foolish.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Love Cheerios. Plain Cheerios. Also enjoy the occasional Fruity Pebbles when I want something sweeter.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

No, I keep my laced shoes loose enough to step in and out, and most of my shoes are slip-ons anyway. Especially this time of year--yay, sandals!

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

Yes, I can use my Swedish thighs to great advantage. When I was little (6?) I moved my dresser to a place in my room that my mother disapproved of, so she tried to move it back. Dad had to come help, and neither could figure out how I did it alone.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

All of it. Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake is particularly nummy.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Facial expressions. You can tell more about a person that way than any other...the eyes especially.

RED OR PINK?

Red. But I have a healthy dose of both in my wardrobe, in a variety of shades.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

Procrastinating to the very edge of disaster sometimes.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

Someone who really only existed in my imagination, as it turns out.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Navy blue shorts, white tennis shoes.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Mixed fresh fruit--watermelon, cantelope, mussmelon, strawberries, pineapple, and grapes. I buy it already cut by the pint at the grocery store, because I'm too lazy to be cutting up a bunch of my own fruit. Love it.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

My iTunes on random party mix: Everclear's Santa Monica is on at the moment. I don't want to do your sleep-walk-dance anymore.

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

I always liked that cornflower blue one.

FAVORITE SMELLS?

Baby powder, new car, and coffee.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

My daddy--it's Father's Day!

FAVORITE SPORTS?

I like to play softball, volleyball, tennis, badminton, HORSE, and kickball.

HAIR COLOR?

Dark brown.

EYE COLOR?

Darker brown.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

Yes, I've worn them for 22 years or so now...would love to have Lasik, though.

FAVORITE FOOD?

Depends on my mood. Pizza is always a winner. Spaghetti, fettucine alfredo, etc.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Unless we're talking DVD, in which case it was Heartbreakers.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Gray tank top.

SUMMER OR WINTER?

Winter. Always prefer the cold to the heat.

HUGS OR KISSES?

Can't I have both?

FAVORITE DESSERT?

Applebee's Maple Butter Blondie is pretty effing awesome.

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

Umm, Peter or Paul? One of the apostles?

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

Shank, he's probably dead in the desert or something.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

The Taming of the Samurai and 1917: Russia's Year of Revolution. One of them is for summer class, and one of them is not. You guess which.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

South Park's Eric Cartman, saying, "It's a bunch of tree-hugging hippie crap!"

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?

Nothing, I don't watch much television.

FAVORITE SOUND?

My niece or nephew's voice in person or on the phone. My niece calls me a lot. They always sound so happy to see or hear me, who can beat that?

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?

Can't I have both?

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

San Diego, California.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

Remembering useless trivia I learned twenty years ago, while forgetting what I did five minutes ago.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Wisconsin. Swedish. Cold. Where else could it be? Besides Minnesota, that is.

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?

Not going to tag anyone. Take it if you want it.

You're So Jealous

I've got mine.

Final exam tomorrow. Then a 3-day weekend o'fun.

Let the Healing Begin

Sleep deprivation...finals week diet of carbs...caffeine overload...frankly, I look like sh*t.

But now it is all over. I turned in my take-home exams (which were probably full of incoherent babbling, but I do not know for certain because I could not be bothered with proof-reading) and the only thing I have left is one short little summary of my research for one short little instructor. So basically, I am done for the semester.

I took a shower, moisturized like crazy, and am now drinking water and contemplating a salad. Or a fast.

There is a bag of candy fruit slices on my desk, left over from the finals week diet, and I do not know what possessed me to buy them. I don't even like candy fruit slices. But they are made of sugar, and that must have been the appeal. I'll have to leave them at work or something. Now that finals are over, I wouldn't dream of actually eating them.

Ah, the return of sanity. Such as it is.

Good News

I didn't have to blow up my car...it appears to be spider-free.

Paul mentioned in the comments below that he has no fear of spiders--only wasps. Which is the exact opposite of me. I fear the relatively harmless spider but don't care much about stinging bees and wasps. Yes, I am irrational. I admit it freely.

If a wasp flies into my car, I calmly grab it and throw it out the window. No swerving or hysterics. I am a bad. ass.

Unless there's a spider around.
_____

In other news, I am now all alone. The roommate moved out, and I have the place to myself until the end of July.

((stretch))

The Worst Thing Ever

I went out to buy caffeine in bulk and as I was driving home, noticed a largish spider crawling on my windshield. The *inside* of my windshield. I don't take too kindly to spiders invading my personal space (i.e., home, car, person) and quickly squished it with a bag. Luckily, I did not wreck my car in the process.

I continued home, fearful of the spider's spouse making an appearance...I have noticed that I always come upon spiders in pairs.

Sure enough, as I was pulling into the parking lot, I noticed a matching largish spider near my head on the inside of the driver's-side window. This one was closer to actually TOUCHING ME, and thus caused much more commotion within my vehicle. There was some swerving, but I hit nothing, and finally ended that spider's life as well.

Obviously, I got into my apartment and immediately stripped off all my clothes in case there was some sort of infestation...then showered to free myself of the creepy-crawly heebie-jeebies.

If there are more spiders in my vehicle tomorrow when I can inspect it in daylight, I will have no choice but to torch it.

(And yes, it is almost 3 a.m. right now. This is a study break.)

Hi, Pete

I better post something before someone has a breakdown and decides like a total dumbass to wear a ski mask to class in April after VT and cause a lockdown.

Pete wanted to read the abuse commentary that would result from the following story, so here goes...

My computer locked up (damn you, Microsoft!) and I was going to hit the power strip button to kill it when the chair I was leaning on gave way and I fell into the corner of my desk...breaking my sternum. Lamest broken sternum story ever, I know, but I am considering filing suit against Bill Gates. In the meantime, feel free to offer cookies and gifts to soothe my owie.

Ice, Ice, Baby

It's been icy and snowy hereabouts, which you already know if you read Drudge every day (IOWA SHUT DOWN!!! BLIZZARD!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!). It's now in that fun melt-and-refreeze cycle where the snow melts in the sunshine every day and then refreezes at night. There's a delightful ice rink out in the parking lot right now.

Besides all that, I've been busy with midterm fun. Paper due tomorrow that I haven't started yet, and two exams still to come this week. And some neighbor kid has been screaming her head off for a good 75 minutes.

Plus I tried to lose a finger today and that is not helping me type. The bandage interferes, you know?

So yeah, better get going on that paper. Trilobites are exciting!!!

La Da Di, La Di Da

Haven't blogged much, which is partly due to the Horrific Winter Storm of February, 2007. We got some ice, we got some snow. My building never lost power, although it did flicker quite a bit. Other people weren't so lucky, and there was an emergency shelter in town here.

What I did lose was the internet. The horror of it all. One whole day without email or news about Britney Spears--I mean, I could barely cope. So what did I do? Study and write papers and be a good little student?

Nope, I watched Sopranos DVDs. The more I watch them, the more continuity issues I notice...especially if you watch from season to season. But whatever. I was wrapped up in a blanket, munching popcorn. Worse ways to spend a crappy Saturday.

I should have worked, but the store was closed down before I had to go in. Heh.

Not much else to report from here, been plugging along on my schoolwork despite the evidence to the contrary displayed above. What's new with you?

Oh, and go buy this book.

I've Accomplished Nothing

I had this weekend off from work. I wasn't going to go home or anything like that; no, I was going to get all kinds of schoolwork done.

Instead, my parents came into town for the first time ever. They came Saturday afternoon/evening to go to a nearby casino, so I met them there, had dinner, etc.

While I was there, I got a call from an out-of-town friend who was in-town. So I saw him in the late night and again this afternoon.

Now I don't feel like doing much of anything.

Spring (Semester) Cleaning

My desk/work area was really out of control...it looked like some crazy professor's office up in here. Books everywhere, papers strewn about...it was hindering my study comfort.

I filled ten 12" x 12" x 6" boxes with books I can probably live without for the next year or so. The box size isn't that big, but I'm not trying to lug single 200-pound cardboard boxes full of books around. I also filled a large plastic bin full of scrapbook material that--let's face it--I won't be able to do anything with for quite some time anyway. So all of this stuff is getting hauled to storage (I already have a lot of furniture and things in a storage unit).

But the thing is, even though I culled the book collection, my bookshelf is still more than full.

It is possible I have too many books.

Especially since my bookshelf is a commercial-grade monstrosity designed to hold 1000 pounds of garage junk. (From the Steve H. school of interior design.)

Especially since I already have several boxes of books in storage.

But someday I'll have a home with a room for my office/library and all of my books will be on non-hideous bookshelves, arranged by subject, and life will be good.

In the meantime, I have some space to do homework again.

Booking

Ah.

I have made myself somewhat useful this break. I have read (finished) Unto a Good Land, The Devil in the White City, 1066: The Year of the Conquest, and I am working on Reading Lolita in Tehran.

Unto a Good Land was actually an assigned book for last semester, but it is well over 300 pages long, and let's be serious. It was assigned for the last couple weeks of classes, and let's be serious. I skimmed it enough to be able to know what I needed for the exam. But it was interesting, and I did want to read the whole thing. So after the semester was over and I had nothing else to do, I read it. It's great, especially since its subject matter is of particular interest to me: Swedish immigration. There were a couple of minor discontinuities in the narrative, but someday I hope to read the rest of the books in the series. I highly recommend it...I could hardly put it down, but others lacking the same interest in the subject matter might be less enthralled.

The Devil in the White City was also very good. It unfolds like a mystery novel, even for parts that aren't about murder or anything so dark. It paints a vivid picture of turn-of-the-century Chicago and what living was like at the time. It follows both the building of the Columbian Exposition and the activities of a serial killer. One of the reviews on the cover says you won't believe you don't already know the story--and I have to agree. I highly recommend it.

1066: The Year of the Conquest recounts the events of England in that year, with enough backstory to put it in context. I had already read King Harald's Saga and of course textbook accounts of the Norman Conquest, but this book fleshed the English perspective out very nicely. It's not an entirely scholarly work, as the author takes some liberties with what might have happened or what might have influenced the players. Still, it doesn't read completely like a novel, and it took a little longer to plow through it, but it was a captivating read and I knocked it out in two days. It made me want to find out more about the facts of the events and take a closer look at the after-effects. I highly recommend this one, as well, but only to fans of the History Channel.

I just started Reading Lolita in Tehran, and so far I like it a lot. Any looks at the lives of regular people in the Middle East--and particularly women--is highly interesting in and of itself. And looking at how a group of women react to English literature and draw parallels to their own lives is especially enlightening. I can't say yet if I recommend this book, but I daresay I will.

Anyone who wants an interesting read about Iraqi women should try Guests of the Sheik, by the way. It's absolutely wonderful. It's written by an American woman who accompanied her husband to rural Iraq and took up the burqa to fit in. The story is several decades old, so it's not a contemporary look at Iraqi life, but I think it still has relevance--and insight that is valuable.

Highly Groomed

Just got a haircut, and if you're going to get a haircut, you may as well spring for the dry and style.

Also went to the Lancome counter, since I'm all addicted and stuff and had some Christmas money. I like to show up with my list, get my stuff, get some free samples of some other stuff, and go before I have time to start thinking I'd like some things that aren't on my list. However, wrench in the plan: they were out of two of the things I needed. Well, wanted...maybe not needed. So while she was initially looking around, I had too much time to browse and ended up with an extra lip gloss. I don't know how, but it just jumped into my hand! Darndest thing.

Anyway, I have to go back in a few days to get the things I actually went for in the first place. Hopefully I won't come away with anything extra. Lancome is pricey for impulse purchases.

One of my bosses back in the day said of her teenage daughter: "She has Estee Lauder tastes and a Cover Girl budget." I can relate.

Happy New Year! Pass the Aspirin...

I hope all of you had a safe and enjoyable new year celebration. Mine was extremely low-key, but extremely enjoyable. In my opinion, the smaller the gathering, the better the company.

I am happy to say we didn't see a single snowflake...let alone 15-foot drifts full of snowflakes.

Semi-regular blogging will resume in the near future.

Life Goes On

President Ford died, as I'm sure you know by now. He seemed like a genuinely good man, which is a rarity in the world of politics, but it is hard to feel sad for the passing of a man of his age who had a good and active life.
_____

Aside from the normal family togetherness and cookie-eating that accompany the holidays, I've also been doing some reading. I started one of my books for next semester, hoping to get a jump-start on the overly-packed course load that awaits me. I may be mocked for being a super dork, but at least I'll have it done.

I also started Erik Larson's Devil in the White City, which is pretty awesome.

Besides this, I've written up my first-ever academic CV...hoping to land a pretty major internship for the summer. If I get it, more details will be forthcoming, but not for several months because I won't know until at least April. It involves the government, and you know how timely they are with anything that doesn't involve collecting our money.

The only other thing I've really been doing is playing Ms. Pac Man. It's one of those old Atari-looking joysticks, and it's giving me carpal tunnel. Well worth it.

Not Dead, Just Sweaty

Crawled into the shower and ventured out into the world for the first time in...weeks? Days? It's been so long since I've seen daylight, I almost forgot what it looked like. Luckily, there wasn't any in sight to confuse or blind me. It was dreary and rainy, just like my soul.

How's that for melodrama, Pete?

I did have to leave my bed and my apartment, because I had to go to the post office to mail something important. Then since I was out, I went to drop off a paper that isn't really due until Friday, then I paid my university bill, then I went to the bookstore to sell back the books I am done with, then I bought some overpriced presentation binder supplies at said bookstore, then I came back home so I can crawl back into bed in short order because I think I overdid it a bit.

While I was dropping off the paper, the professor wanted to introduce me around and tell everyone how great I am. Normally I'm all for that, but since I haven't eaten since Friday and I'm feverish, I wasn't feeling my most networky. I was sweating like crazy under my coat and trying not to sound retarded when I answered their questions. I don't think I succeeded very well. Luckily, I won't remember it anyway...'night.

Perfect Timing

Dying of some kind of stomach bug is really cutting into my Finals Week study time...I can't even keep water in my system, which is making me all dehydrated and stupid. I finally decided to crawl out of bed after spending the better part of 20 hours in it, and I put my contacts in. Then I put my glasses on. I was confused about why I couldn't see, and almost started cleaning my glasses before I realized my contacts were in.

Complimentary Convo

Him: You look like you've been sleeping better.

Me: I haven't.

Him: Oh. Well you look like you have.

Me: Fifty dollar face cream, my friend.

Girly Post

I'm a big fan of the Lancome products. I'm also on a budget these days. However, sometimes you just have to spend $50 on an ounce of face cream. Well, okay, you don't have to. You can watch your face fall apart in the dry weather while cheap products do nothing to save it.

I choose to spend the money. HydraZen is awesome, and totally worth it. I'd love to buy the Absolue, but that's twice as much, so let's not get crazy here. You can buy the HydraZen and get samples of the Absolue...plus free gifts and maybe a little bottle of the Hypnose perfume (my favorite scent, btw)...and then you better leave before you buy all the eyeshadows, because as you know Lancome eyeshadow is awesome.

Anyway, I escaped spending only $79.80. It's an investment. An investment in my face not falling apart. And in not having to wear Obsession for a couple months.

Forced to Conform

I made my first PowerPoint presentation. It was required by one of my teachers, so I did it.

Happy now?
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I parked next to a car today that had dollar bills in plain sight within. So naturally, I broke the window and took the money.

Okay, maybe not. But I daresay someone else will. Leaving money out in view is just dumb.
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It is a law of nature that if I use hairspray, it will rain. Which should give you some indication of how often I use hairspray. It's a special occasion kind of product for me these days. Not like the 80s, when I was partially responsible for that hole in the ozone layer thing.

But hey, if it wasn't for global warming, it'd be snowing instead of raining right now, so I'm good with it. 60 degree weather all week, can you believe it? We go back to reality in a couple days...high of 28 forecasted for Thursday.

Before Sleep Comes

I must say that this is the first election night in several years when I haven't felt like throwing up. We'll see how it goes in two years. But I am disappointed with Wisconsin...
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For my 16th birthday, I told a friend of mine that I wanted a box of Legos. She gave me a big ol' box at school, and I carted it around with me all day because it didn't fit in my locker. Most people thought I was weird, but I never much cared what other people thought. That box of Legos is still at my parents' house, for the niece and nephew. And me when I visit.

The kids like it when I make big towers and castles...sadly, they like to have me make things for them more than they like to make things themselves. This is a trend I am working on reversing, because they need to be more creative. (We also need to work on their picking-up-the-Legos-skills, because Mom and Dad have a policy that they throw away Legos left lying on the floor...the depletion is dismaying.)

Anywho, I've been thinking I should get another box for myself. You may think I'm odd, but I'm not the only one.

Goodnight.

Happy Halloween

I'm going as a stressed-out undergrad with a midterm this afternoon. After that, I'm going to be one of Satan's little helpers.

Typical day, really. ;-)

I Have a Dream

Had a dream, that is. Last night. I dreamt I was dating a midget (what is the PC term for midget?), and we went out to lunch and enjoyed the privacy of a booth under a hollowed-out, upside-down pumpkin.

All seemed to be going well, until we were back at his place and listening to Bon Jovi music. He said he still wanted to get closer to me, but that he felt differently about me since learning my house wasn't a mansion and that I dared to challenge the curriculum of one of my classes. Which, by the way, wasn't even one of my real-life classes, but was Aristotle's interpretation of what education should be. My retort was that a book on farming was useless if it didn't tell you how to plant and harvest a field. And then I woke up.

Who knew I was such a detractor of the liberal arts?

Who knew midgets were such snobs?

Pure Joy

This is the weekend of my hot date. After the midterms...after the soul-stealing work...I get to be driven to Chicago and dropped off at the Field Museum, where I can spend the whole day. Perhaps I'll go next door to the Shedd Aquarium, too...it's all good.

One of my favorite places in one of my favorite cities. Yay, me.

Music Update

It pays to be occasionally reasonably pleasant to people. Pete sent me an mp3 of "I Love Rock N' Roll". Unless that is illegal, in which case it was someone named Pierre.

I took Paul and Keith's recommendations. Keith's Scissor Sisters recommendation was particularly good. I already liked them from "Take Your Mama"...but he was right about the BeeGees falsetto. I am now fighting the urge to see if the BeeGees Greatest Hits album is on iTunes. Must. Fight. BeeGees.

Paul's Dave Edmunds recommendation was also good. Shank...I'm not sure if you actually recommended anything. I'm not spending 99¢ until I'm sure.

Still have room for more...

Initiate Hibernation Phase

With the coldness and the dreariness upon us, I suddenly want to do little more than nap. Inadvisable, what with a midterm and a quiz tomorrow.

Sigh.
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I have an iTunes giftcard thingie from the birthday. What I need are song recommendations. If you could recommend ONE song, what would it be? I already know Paul will recommend Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back...but what about the rest of you? Peppy is a plus, btw.

UPDATE: Hmph. How much is it to ask for a little Joan Jett I Love Rock and Roll?! It's not on iTunes. But her Bad Reputation is. Small consolation.

What Else?

It's not all football and...football.

I've been doing pretty well in my classes this semester. One of them is a little sketchy, but I can pull that one up. I have the potential to get As in everything but that one, in which I will be satisfied with a B.

Work is work. Been busy with all the football craziness, and Christmas is coming up. Find my happy place, find my happy place, find my happy place...

The social life is pretty boring, as usual. Been hanging out with an engineering (!) grad student I actually met while out of town in August. I was wearing a school t-shirt and he sat down by me and we started talking. When I had to go, I told him since he was in engineering I'd probably never see him on campus and to have a nice year...totally blowing him off without meaning to. I didn't even think about him being interested in me*, so didn't think anything of it until he e-mailed me a few weeks ago to get together. He's super-nice, but both of us are too focused on school right now to be of much interest to anyone but each other. It's very laid-back.

I have a pre-paid date with King Tut in a couple weeks. Love the Egyptology, so I am extremely excited. It will be one of the high points of the year, for sure.

And...that's about it, I think. How are you?

* I have less ego than you might think based on this blog. ;-)

Nectar of the Gods

For someone who generally claims not to like coffee, I sure have been drinking a lot of it lately. Lovely cup of Belgian Hazelnut resting above my keyboard right now, poised to ruin my keyboard.

I'm a big fan of the caffeine.

Big.

Fan.

Okay, not so much a fan as an addict, but I don't judge you. Don't judge me.

Have an exam tomorrow and mucho reading to do after work tonight, so methinks coffee is going to be my best friend.

That's all. Just thought I should post something. Carry on.
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Oh, and for those keeping track at home, I did not get a talking-to about telling a customer to play in traffic. I was just told not to do it again. What do I have to do to get in trouble around here?

I Try. Really, I Do

I try to be a nice person. That is the only reason I am not at this minute composing a nice "go eff yourself, your mother, and your dog" e-mail to someone who I'm not even sure why I try to maintain a relationship with in the first place. The only reason I can come up with is that trying to be a nice person thing.

The trying to be a nice person thing is waging a fierce battle with the true bitch that lives within. They're duking it out somewhere near my stomach right now.
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Anyway, the Latin exam went okay. I'll know later how okay...I plan to obsessively check the online grade system until the score appears.
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The freaks are out in full force. The big in-state rivalry game is this weekend. I can't wait to work this afternoon. Hopefully the true bitch that lives within me will be subdued by then.
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Thanks, everyone who wished me a happy birthday. It was the most boring birthday ever, but I guess I should be over birthdays by now anyway. Should probably be denying them, too.

My Grandma is Cooler Than You

All the cool people already wished me a happy birthday. The rest of you have twelve hours.

For my birthday lunch, I enjoyed a Blimpie's Best on wheat with a small bag of Doritos and a diet Pepsi. For my birthday dinner, I will be in my night class, so will have to wait until late to eat. At which point I will probably enjoy the half of the Blimpie's Best that I did not finish.

And then I will study Latin because I have an exam tomorrow morning.

I am a wild, wild woman.

(And it's the Magic Johnson of birthdays, for those keeping track at home.)

Genius!

Caffeinated apple juice. Can you believe it? I loves the apple juice, I loves the caffeine. Now they're together. I don't have to drink my morning apple juice and then find another way to consume caffeine.

This is the best thing that ever happened to me. Right now.
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What else was I going to talk about? Oh, yes. Lotion. I have eczema, and I need my moisturizer. Now, way back in the day, I used something called Wondra. Wondra ceased to exist, and a lengthy quest began to find a suitable replacement. Finally Curel was deemed worthy of my sensitive, dry skin. Now Curel has lost their mind and replaced their product with some extra super better product that is *not* better and actually irritates my skin. It irritates me in general as well, but that's why you're subjected to this post.

So now begins a new quest. I have purchased two possible replacements for Curel. No small task finding a replacement, as most lotions have mineral oil, and I am allergic to mineral oil. One of the possibilities is a new Vaseline that will not be on the market forever, but if it works I can stock up on it. (I wish I'd known Curel would betray me; I'd have bought cases of it.) Vaseline usually has mineral oil, but this particular one does not. It does have fragrance, however, so I don't have high hopes. The other is a Suave for sensitive skin. In the past, Suave has failed me, but this one might be okay. Don't care a whole lot for the texture, though, as I think it may leave my skin feeling too dry.

But we shall see. If neither work, I will move on to other options. In the meantime, I will try not to claw my skin off.

Worship Me, Bitches

I am going to be a contributor to a biographical dictionary listing people of historical import.

Said biographical dictionary is being published by a history periodical.

And I didn't even get this opportunity through the history department. Go figure.

Improved Parachute Pants

If I would have saved all my clothes from junior high and high school (the ones that would still fit), I'd be thousands of dollars richer because I wouldn't have to buy the same damn stuff over and over again.

I swear to God, I am wearing parachute pants right now. They're kinda nylonish and they have more pockets than I need and they're noisy when I move. They're slightly softer than I remember, and they have a snap tab thingie to hold up the rolls at the bottom, but other than that I am pretty sure they are freaking parachute pants.

I'll wear these reinvented trendy parachute pants. But I draw the line at gauchos.

Mononucleosis

I've been really tired lately. The ex-hsbf had/has? mono. If he gave it to me, I'm going to beat him to death with his own shoe as soon as I get my energy back.

Maybe it's just the Latin wearing me out.

Or I'm not ingesting enough caffeine. Hard to believe.

Anyway, what's new with you? You need to e-mail your cell phone numbers if you want to be harassed...I can't drunk-dial you if I don't know what to dial, Victor. First home football game this weekend, so the likelihood of drunkenness is high. The likelihood of drunkenfallingasleepexhaustedbefore9p.m. is also high.

Apologies

Sorry if you were harassed by me via cell phone last night. There were some text messages, there were some phone calls.

Apparently cherry vodka makes me want to share my drunkenness with the world...but at least most of you weren't subjected to the "Ur a towel!" text message followed by half an hour of hysterical laughing about it while I supposedly couldn't stop laughing long enough to explain what the text message was about.

At least, I hope most of you weren't.

Twitch, Twitch

This just in: terrorists suck.

Okay, now that we got that out of the way...
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Spent 3 hours this morning getting my v'icle serviced. New tires, oil change, and whatnot. Three hours. One People magazine. You do the math.

My only consolation as I was fidgeting in the waiting room was that I would probably get done in time to hit the bookstore before work. And I did.

But none of my damned books are in. So it's not just a matter of not being in the system. They're just not around. If they are all ordered at the off-campus bookstore, I'll be extra pissed.

See, we have the U's bookstore, which we can charge to our student ID and put off paying until the sweet, sweet financial aid money comes in.

Then we have the non-U bookstore, which actually makes us pay for our books.

And I just spent $400 on my car.

Once again, you do the math.

Feh.

Mm. Tea.

I love me some tea. Hot, cold, room temperature, whatever. I bought an iced tea brewer a few months back because I could never quite get a good pitcher of iced tea by brewing it myself.

However.

This morning I was out of iced tea and what the hell was I supposed to drink with my breakfast?! I looked over my wide array of tea bags, but really, it's too hot for hot tea. So I had an idea. I'd brew one mug of tea like normal, then pour it into a glass of ice.

It totally works. This will change my life. Instead of making a whole pitcher of one flavor of tea, I can have any flavor at any time I choose. This morning I had raspberry iced tea. Right now I'm having orange and spice iced tea.

I'm as happy as Cartman when he first bought his amusement park.

The Secret to Beautiful Skin For a Couple Weeks Anyway

I have eczema. I also have in my possession a powerful prescription steroid-laden salve. It's expensive, so I try not to use said steroid-laden salve except for skin emergencies. Like, say, after I spend a week camping and baking the hell out of myself.

Apply steroid-laden salve, and look like a normal human being the next day. It's magical. My skin has a fabulous soft texture for about a week after one of these emergency treatments, but it's been a few weeks since I applied the salve and my skin is still soft and dewy.

The only explanation I can think of is that I haven't eaten any crap (fried, sugared, whatever) for weeks. AND I've been faithfully taking my fish oil pills (shut up, I saw a model who ate nothing but fish and had perfect skin...plus it's good for the heart). I think the combination of the two has been good for my skin.

I feel pretty.

It's Like Sunday, But It's Not

I had some odd dreams last night...which I don't remember very well and won't bore you with. Suffice it to say, the South Park guys and Mel Gibson were involved.

By the way, I tend to believe that when you're drunk you say the same things you believe when you're sober--only louder. (Unless you're a guy trying to get a girl to sleep with you. And then you're just a damned liar. But I digress.)

I can also say with all honesty that this drunken outburst of Mr. Gibson's has done nothing to change my opinion of him. I already thought he was an anti-Semitic jackass.

Good News, Bad News

The good news is, your diet has been successful. The bad news is, you need to buy new jeans because yours are sagging.

The good news is, you have two days off in a row. The bad news is, all you want to do is take a nap.

The good news is, you're going out of town in a couple weeks. The bad news is, you need to get off your lazy ass and buy new tires first.

The good news is, your e-mail account wasn't hacked after all. The bad news is, AOL just sucks eggs.

Mixed Bag

The good news is, I've decided to post a picture of myself online.

The bad news is, I don't think I'll do that until Christmas.

Yes, I amuse myself immensely.
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I was going to avoid blogging about a certain South Park creator in hopes of not getting a restraining order issued against me, but I thought you might like to read an actual conversation I had the other day. Mostly because I have nothing else to blog about right now.

Ex-hsbf: [co-worker B] was pretty excited when she heard you say there would be pot in the hotel room.

Me: Yeah, that's why I made sure to tell her I was joking. So she wouldn't show up with her bong.

Co-worker A: Wouldn't surprise me if she did anyway.

(Drugs are bad, mm'kay? The conversation turned to how I won't date potheads.)

Ex-hsbf: What about Matt Stone?

Me: (sadly) Yeah, that's the only reason I can't marry Matt Stone.

Co-worker A: Because he's a stoner?

Me: Yeah, can't marry a stoner.

Ex-hsbf: Just fuck him.

Me: Yep. And he is rich, so I could use him for awhile. Okay, I'd date Matt Stone.

Ex-hsbf: No kidding.
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Seriously, though, I'm not obsessed. Really.

Bonus Day

Since I got home a day earlier than planned, I suppose I could have worked today. But really, sitting in my pajamas and watching The Goonies and Sixteen Candles while eating pizza and fudge was really the better plan.

/Vacation

I am showered and scrubbed within an inch of my life and thoroughly moisturized...camping experience done for another year.

I wasn't planning to make the final leg of my trip home today, but here I am. In my apartment, bags waiting to be unpacked. The good guest room is in use at my parents' and I just really wanted my own bed.

Good trip. The new freckle breeding program was a complete success, and the melanoma/sarcoma/etc advancement program is progressing on schedule. Despite comments to the contrary, there was no sex in my tent. That I am aware of. I did leave it unattended for most of the time.

There was ATVing, boating, waterskiing, watertubing, swimming, marshmallow supervision, alcohol imbibing, parade watching, firework watching, eating things I never eat the other 51 weeks of the year, and so on. Much poker was played, and much candy was won.

I met the brother of a cousin's husband. I like this particular cousin's husband a lot. Not in a husband-stealing way, but in a he's a genuinely nice guy who says nice things about my dad kind of way. The brother is my age, and looks just like the cousin's husband, but he's pretty shy, so I didn't really talk to him much. After he left, the cousin's husband was talking about him. It seemed like a sales pitch.

"He's a great guy, great job, likes kids, blahblah, honest, blahblahblah, own house, blahblah, ready to settle down, blahblah, good with cars, blahbittyblah."

Normally, I would have been interested, but he looks just like the cousin's husband. And I hate to say it, but the cousin's husband has sired some truly hideous children. So his uglychildren genes must be dominant over my cousin's cutechildren genes. And I can't risk having my cutechildren genes polluted by uglychildren genes. You think I'm kidding, but people always react badly when they see pictures of the kids.

Anyway, here's a picture from the parade. Guess which state I was in.

(click to enlarge)

Frigging cheeseheads.

To close, I will tell you a totally true story that surprised no one and filled most of the original listeners with pride...a cousin's girlfriend came out to the cabin last weekend, but not before getting herself hopelessly lost. She finally gave up and stopped at a bar for help. She figured it was a shot in the dark, but went in and asked the bartenders if they knew where the [my last name] cabin was.

They did.

The Last Post

This will probably be my last post before getting the hell out of Dodge. I'll be back in time for Richie Sambora's birthday. You all know when that is, right? Of course you don't. You're not psychotic like I am.

Anyway, Shank has until my return to either accept the terms of surrender I have laid out for him, or to suffer the consequences. I strongly suggest he accept.

Have a good 4th o' July, everybody. I will. Yay, freedom!

A Swimsuit and a Bucket of Taffy

Decided after looking at my swimsuits that one needs to be retired and replaced. So I went swimsuit shopping this evening. A little late in the season, which means the selection is limited, but I'm not too picky, so it's okay.

Swimsuit shopping doesn't affect me the way it seems to do most women. I don't expect to be transformed into a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, so my requirements are simple.

1. Must cover butt. No riding up when I bend over, walk, etc. I'm not trying to wear a thong or pick the suit out of my buttcrack.

2. Must support boobies. I have them, and bras are not optional in my world. The suit must provide support.

3. Some degree of chest modesty. Spilling out of the top when I lean over, or providing a look at everything but the nipples? Not good.

I swim in my swimming suits. I don't sunbathe or lie around looking cute on a lounge chair or purposely sashay past hot guys in them. They are a practical thing, and if they meet my practical requirements, I'm pretty much good to go. I don't have crying jags in the dressing room. Try a few on, pick the best, be annoyed about the high cost, and leave. The end.
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After I went swimsuit shopping, I stopped by WalMart. I remembered everything on my list for my trip except sunblock. And I picked up a bag of saltwater taffy. I transferred it into an old ice cream bucket. The kids will love it. I'll love it. Love taffy. Of course, now whenever I hear or see or think the word "taffy", I hear an annoying song in my head.
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Proof that the pressure is making Britney crazy...girlfriend looks nuttier than a Snickers.

Nothing Some Rope and Stakes Won't Fix

I have been thinking for quite some time now that I need to add a table to my collection of camping gear. It needs to be small enough to fit in my trunk (without folding the rear seats), and that effectively eliminates most portable outdoor tables. Coleman has a table that folds in half, but an uncomfortable percentage of negative reviews scared me away--I don't want something too flimsy.

I finally found something today that I think will work. It's plastic on top and has aluminum legs. The legs have crossbars at the bottoms to give the table more stability. So even though it is lightweight, I should be able to stake it into the ground to keep it from blowing away or whatever. We tend to get one muthah of a thunderstorm at least one night when I go camping, so having a table--even a heavier one than what I found--blow over/away is a legitimate problem.

Yay, camping! I have a total one-track mind lately. Look forward to more fascinating entries in the week and a half to come. Then look forward to none, probably, when I'm actually camping.

Must Have Been Boring Anyway

I was going to blog about something, I just know it. But now I can't remember it. So it was obviously fascinating.
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I like to play tennis, and I found someone who likes it enough to want to play but not enough to want to be dumb and competitive about it. Perfect, because that's how much I like it. Just enough to run after the ball, but not enough to grunt like a Monica when I hit it...or throw a John McEnroe if I miss it. The perfect balance.

It seems like back in The Day, everyone played tennis. Now I have a hard time finding a partner. All the girls at work like tennis enough to watch the French Open like it's their favorite sport, but not enough to own a racket. (I should mention that this week they all watch the World Cup like soccer's their favorite sport. I'm thinking there is a pattern here. And that pattern is that we like whatever random sport is popular at the moment.)

So, to recap: tennis = good when played in a friendly, laidback way. Soccer = totally boring if not for the guys in shorts. And still pretty boring. Denise Richards = shady. I know I didn't talk about her in this post, but it needs to be said from time to time.

Carry on.

The End of Lazy Hair

I got a haircut that will require product and actual work in the mornings. No more of this throwing it into a ponytail stuff. Ponytails are nice and easy, but cause breakage and aren't exactly stylish. That's not good. My hair is now short. Well, short for me. Average length for most people. Shoulder-length to be exact...and not a millimeter below my shoulders.

In high school, I managed to get up and shower and style my hair every day. It was the Big Hair Era, after all, and I had me some BIG HAIR. Fast forward to now, and I haven't used a blow dryer in almost a year.

What will I do when I have a morning class and don't want to get up in time to do my hair? Hats, my friend. Hats. In theory, I could still wear a ponytail, but short little ponytails are lame.

Purge! Purge!

I was up until 4:30 this morning, cleaning. I did laundry yesterday, and then started sorting out all my clothes. I'm not one to keep a "summer wardrobe" and "winter wardrobe", but closet space demands that I box up that which I do not need.

While doing that, I also started the throwaway and giveaway piles, and eventually moved beyond clothes to all the other clutter in my room. I don't think my work is completely done, and I need to turn the same attention to my work area (desk, shelves, etc)...to box up things I don't need continuous access to, and throw out things I don't need at all.

I don't get the hard-core cleaning bug very often, but when I do, I just have to go with it.

Now I will tell you a story about yesterday. While cleaning out my closet, I found a little black tank top that has "Material Girl" written on it in silver glitter. (It's not some old 80s shirt, it's actually only a few years old. Truth in advertising, as it were.) I forgot I had it, so I had to justify keeping it. I changed into that to finish my cleaning (tank tops are cooler than the t-shirt I had been wearing). It's one of those shirts that don't quite reach your navel, and I was wearing it with shorts.

So I'm trekking back and forth from my apartment to the laundry room, which happens to be right across from the door to the stairs. I was emptying the dryer of a load of pinks and reds, which was largely underclothes at that point because I hang up my shirts when they're still wet.

Opening the door across from me, and with a huge look of shock at seeing me half-dressed and handling my brightest underwear, was a guy from work. He was visiting one of my neighbors on the other end of the hall, and I was barely able to find that much out. He turned bright red, and I'm not sure he'll ever recover. Which is strange, because it was my colorful underwear and my half-dressed self, so I should be the one embarassed.

I can't wait to hear about it at work.

Rags to Riches to Rags

Got paid today, then paid rent, the phone bill, filled up my gas tank, and bought groceries.

$33.51 to fill the tank.

I think I need to save more than usual for my trip to Wisconsin.

And I need to get to Chicago at some point this summer.

On Books

Ahem, make that "literature" in place of "books" so we can be as snooty as possible.

I don't consider myself badly read. I had parents who indulged my affection for books by purchasing a couple sets of classics for me when I was pretty young. I was a big fan of Great Expectations (Dickens), for example, before I was in 6th grade. When we had to read A Tale of Two Cities (also Dickens) in 9th grade English, I already knew it from having read it several times and didn't understand why some of my classmates were so lost.

My classics favored male authors and male characters. I had nice hardback copies of Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) and Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte), but could never really get into them--I never did finish Jane Eyre, but seem to remember not totally hating Wuthering Heights eventually. I read somewhere that the Bronte sisters were snobbish about Jane Austen, which if true I find interesting considering my enjoyment of Jane's work. However, I didn't even try Jane Austen until the last few years. Helen Fielding must take the credit for awakening that interest.

Anyway, I was familiar with Twain, Dickens, Robert Louis Stevenson, Alexandre Dumas, and even Jules Verne before I entered junior high. Don't get me wrong, I didn't have a pretentious bookshelf. Laura Ingalls Wilder and Judy Blume and Trixie Belden (Julie Campbell) and Sweet Valley High (Francine Pascal) and Stephen King all figured prominently during my school years.

I can go through a list of "Classics" and not feel too uncultured. But there are some books that just seem like ones I should have read and haven't. Trying to correct this deficiency isn't a new undertaking...it is a work in progress for many years now. I'm just lucky enough to have a little more free time on my hands at this moment than I've had in the past.

Follow Along

I've added a little section in the lower right column that will give the details of my summer reading progress. I have a list of books I'd like to finish before school starts up again, and most of them are part of the Western Canon that I haven't gotten around to reading yet. I'll only put the ones in the "Batter's Box" that I actually have a copy of and actually intend to start reading in the next week or two (or three if I'm on something particularly lengthy and tedious).

I don't guarantee that the occasional modern "chick-lit" novel won't find its way onto the list as the mood appears, but I can pretty well assure you that no Harlequin romance novels will be there.

I probably won't blog much (if at all) about the books, unless there is some encouragement in that direction.

UPDATE: I put a little tagboard below the list, which can function as a sort of open comments area. I'd be curious to have any recommendations, as well. If you could recommend one book to the world, which would it be?

Bummer

Thought one: "I'm off work tomorrow. I could go camping at the lake!"

Thought two: "My tent's in storage two hours away."

Bleh.

And The Beat Goes On

This weekend is graduation weekend, but I keep sort of forgetting it. I'm not graduating, and since I am the center of my universe, what's it to me?

I worked today (almost 90 minutes longer than expected, as it turned out, thanks to a security system hickup...since I was the closer, I couldn't just leave until it was resolved). I will work tomorrow...then leave straightaway for my parents' house and a late dinner there. It's Mother's Day, after all. Gotsta see Mother.

Not doing anything graduation-related with anyone else, either. The Dental College doesn't have commencement for another month, and to be honest I try to avoid downtown when there are a lot of extra people (i.e., everyone and their parents/grandparents/siblings/dogs*) around.

Whenever I do graduate, I'd like to skip the ceremony. It sounds like a lot of hassle to me. You sit around for hours while everyone gets their name called (they do call individual names here), and it will be fairly anti-climactic, I'm sure. The ceremony is really for the parents, and I'm going to try to eliminate my parents' interest in it...I'm in my thirties, they should be over it. Not like they've footed the bill. Plus you have to find a parking space, and who can be bothered?

So basically, to sum up, it's Mother's Day weekend. Yay, mothers! Especially mine. (I'll refer you to the second sentence of my opening paragraph.)

* Some lady came in, asking for a "graduation gift for a dog" the other day, so naturally I asked if the dog was graduating from obedience school. Nope. The dog's master is graduating from college. So the dog needs a graduation gift. Huh?

Snnnzzzzrk?

My main activity since Wednesday has been sleeping. It has easily taken up more than half of my time, and I am just now starting to feel halfway healthy.

This will be the last week of class. Finals are next week.

I'm behind.

Time to get busy.

Tomorrow.

'Night.

Hope For Hypochondria

Because if it turns out I have the m*mps tomorrow, I swear by all I hold dear that my pillow will get the biggest beat-down of its life.

Slightly symptomatic, slightly achey and swollen in the jaw area, slightly pissed off, and slightly sure it is somehow all in my head. It would be seriously f*cked up if I did somehow manage to be one of the tiny percentage to get 'em, and it honestly doesn't seem likely. My luck, it'll be something completely different--and more serious.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am off to take a nap.

UPDATE, 3:00 a.m.: I feel a lot worse, but no additional swelling, so I really don't think it's m*mps. Also, my fever went down. Took NyQuil, going back to sleep soon.

UPDATE, 2:00 p.m. Friday: Cancelled the appointment, mostly because I wasn't interested in staying awake long enough to go. If I have 'em, I'm spreading 'em around. Pretty sure it's something else anyway. I've been awake for about 10 hours total since Wednesday. Bleh.

Talking to Myself

Here I thought either no one was reading, or maybe comments were broken and keeping you from commenting.

And all along, you were just waiting for me to post about something controversial like...learning Latin.

I don't get you people.

Technology is Our Friend

I'm digging the MP3 player. I haven't read the instructions yet, so I haven't been able to delete the crap they pre-loaded on there, but I have a bunch of songs on it already. I think the delete function has to be done through the computer, and I haven't loaded the software yet. I'll get around to it...probably when I need more space for songs.

I may have to turn into one of those people who can't make it from one campus building to the next without ear buds or a cell phone stuck to my ear. Then I too can be anti-social without looking like it's on purpose.

But we all know it's on purpose. God forbid you have to make eye contact and say hello to strangers!

Anyway, I should have conformed and bought one of these sooner.

UPDATE: Duh, I can delete files from the player just like any other computer file if it's hooked up. Done.

A Pox on Google

My Sitemeter has been overrrun with Google searches. I don't mind having 10 visitors a day when I know half of them are Paul, but it irks me to have triple that number and the additions are Googlers.

And yes, my stats are pathetic and sad, but I don't exactly advertise, so it's all good.
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An update on tornado stuff (because I have a one-track mind)...

I'm not linking the source to this (the college paper) because they require registration. You'll just have to trust me:

Federal Emergency Management Agency officials updated the number of households affected by last week's tornadoes Wednesday - more than tripling the previous estimate.

FEMA assessors originally counted 305 households affected during the April 13 tornadoes, but a second look showed 1,061 houses were actually affected.

Also, our tornado was clocked around 150 mph and was classified an F2. Here's the difference between an F2 and F3, and I think we could make the argument it was a weak F3:

• F2: 113-157 mph. Considerable damage. Roofs torn off frame houses; mobile homes demolished; boxcars overturned; large trees snapped or uprooted; light-object missiles generated; cars lifted off ground.

• F3: 158-206 mph. Severe damage. Roofs and some walls torn off well-constructed houses; trains overturned; most trees in forest uprooted; heavy cars lifted off the ground and thrown.

I think the age of the buildings that lost walls worked against us.

Bulimia Coming Along Nicely

Not on purpose, I assure you. Bucket on standby.

A few years ago, it was pretty noteworthy if I emptied my stomach in reverse. Never happened. Then I was given medication that made me do it regularly (side effect)...now it seems like it happens a lot just for the hell of it. Every 3 months or so.

I don't care for it.

You're welcome for sharing.

A Bit

Which John Cusack Are You?

I Love the Book Store

Barnes and Noble is one of my favorite places. It's not a place I frequent often, because it has a way of taking all my money, but today I decided to splurge.

I saw Instapundit's book, An Army of Davids, and I picked it up and browsed. I might have bought it, but it was $24.99. (You can get it at Amazon for as low as $12.49 at the moment.) I saw someone else pick it up after I moved on, but he must not have wanted to spend $25, either.

Instead, I bought:
The Batman Handbook
The Annals and the Histories
How They Met
Adult Only Blonde Jokes
The Good, The Bad, and The Mad, and
Ellis Island Interviews

Two of these books are going to Iraq. You can speculate as to which.

Spring Motif

100% of readers named Pete do not care for the new design. What about the rest of you? Only those with Curlz MT (the font in the title graphic) will see the design in all its glory. The rest of you get a slightly less-girly version.
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I got a "B" on a paper today, and felt like crying or throwing up. Must be what those overachievers experience. Normally I wouldn't react that way, but it ruined my straight "A"s so far in the class...a class I'm actually purposely being competitive in.

Normally, regarding grades, I tend to think "B"s are just fine...I'm a well-rounded person, after all, and well-rounded people don't have time to obsessively study. Graduate schools, if you're into that sort of thing, generally require a minimum 3.0 average for admissions. Keeping to that is respectable, in my opinion.

To be honest, I tend to lose points on my grades for that pesky "attendance" thing. Spending 50 minutes watching some TA struggle to get students who are not me to participate is not my idea of time well spent. When I attend class, I'm often the only one who actively engages in discussion. If I have something better to do, like work on a paper or other project, it is possible I will not go to class. So I get points deducted for attendance. I tend to calculate how many points I can afford to lose that way without sinking past whatever grade I want.

Meanwhile, some moron who can never answer a question correctly in class gets an "A" for attendance. It's like extra credit for people who suck on the tests.

Rumors of My Demise...

I don't post for like 3 days and people send panicked e-mails all of a sudden. This blog isn't going anywhere. I was gone for the weekend. Everybody relax.
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My mom was asking (again) what I can do with my degree when I graduate. I told her, and she thought about it for a moment, then said, "Or you could just keep getting higher degrees."

Grad school? Yikes. I'd be in school for the remainder of my child-bearing years. Although I must admit the whole staying-in-academia idea is not a bad one. Especially when the alternative is to grow up and get a real job. I understand the appeal.

Make It Stop

Guess which movie I saw yesterday. No Googling.

I have some lyrics stuck in my head on an endless loop..."Don't hafta spend your life addicted to smack, homeless on the streets, giving handjobs for crack."

It's easy, mm'kay?

***UPDATE: Yep, "South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut" is what I watched. For the umpteenth time.

Now guess how many times I'll purposely see "Mission Impossible 3". C'mon, guess.

Back

I have returned, and for those who have been wondering, I am still single.

And Shank is a stinking liar. He could've been the first blogger to lay eyes on me, and he blew it. He could have made dozens of dollars, selling my picture to the curious, but he missed out. Nyah.

Vegas, Baby

I'm going to be in Vegas in two days and you're not.

(Well, Shank is, but let's pretend we didn't know that.)
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I sort of have an update to that car crash last night...one of the car's seats is sitting on the side of the road today. What's that about??

If You Know What I Mean

I'm not totally off the reservation, but I go on raids now and then.

A Little Late...

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

All Over Now

Well, this week sucked. TGIF, babies. T.G.I.F.

I'll be watching Wedding Crashers if anyone needs me.

"I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you."

UPDATE: "You motorboating son of a bitch! You old sailor!"

Decadent

I plan to take a nice, hot, moisturizing bath as soon as I sign off here. In the middle of the day. It's good to be a college student.

Why a nice, hot bath? Because we're supposed to get around 6 inches of snow starting tonight, and the thought of it is making me cold. Plus I'm just a fan of the hot bath in general. I can't wait til I grow up and have a hot tub.

In related news, if that Weather Bug chirps at me one more time about the winter weather warning, I'm gonna squish it.
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My neighbors probably think I'm nuts. You know how some things strike you as hilariously funny, no matter how often you see/hear/think about them? I've been cackling like a loon* for the last 20 minutes over a picture I love. Unfortunately, I can't share it with you right now. It will pop up somewhere soon.

* Okay, not exactly like a loon...but if you've heard one, you probably knew that already.

Ideal

If I could live anywhere, I'd live in a house on a waterfront acreage. A lake that you can swim in would be nice. A deck where I could sit and watch the sunset while listening to the waves gently lapping would be good. And having an attractive male of the romantic variety within arm's length would make it perfect.

Where would you live?

Bzzzzz

That pop I drank at 9:00 to keep myself alert to write two papers seems so misguided now that I got them done more quickly than expected.
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So, anyone doing anything exciting for Valentine's Day?

Flawed

Don't you hate it when you get a manicure and one nail gets smudged before you even make it out to your car? Of course you do.

Today II

No, I am not suicidal.

Today

Today would be a good day to tell me you love me.

Worth a Shot

A week or so ago, I wrote that if I had a flat-screen monitor, I'd be all set. And poof! I got an LCD monitor! (Thanks, Pete!)

So...

If I had a million dollars and a Corvette (black convertible) and Lasik surgery, I'd be all set.

Of Bowl Games and Neck Braces

Yes, as someone helpfully pointed out in the comments somewhere, my team lost their bowl game. I really don't have anything to say about it, because it does no good to rail on about incompetent officiating. Besides, the game announcers did that for me.
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Reading this blog, one might think I am a hypochondriac or at the very least a drama queen, but I'm really not. It's just been a rotten month for me. The flu bug I got (turned out it wasn't food poisoning when my bf and roommate started having the same symptoms) really knocked me on my ass. Falling on the ice literally knocked me on my ass...and back and head.

I wasn't kidding when I said I had a concussion. I still have a headache and sore neck from the whole thing. And I still feel like an idiot, but I've never been one to hide my idiocy from my friends. Or Shank.

Then there is the "vision issue" which resulted from a small tumor pressing against my optic nerve. It's not the first tumor, and I doubt it will be the last. My brain has been trying to kill my body for a couple of years, and I figure the fall on the ice was my body's way of returning the favor.

So if I haven't been blogging much, you'll have to excuse me. And if my sense of humor seems limited lately, you'll have to excuse that too. I'm usually more upbeat when I can see and I don't have ringing in my ears. So give me a week or two and I might even be slightly entertaining again in my own way.

Not a Good Start

If you decide to take a stroll outside in winter before the sun comes up, you may want to consider wearing your contacts. If you wear your glasses, they will fly about 3 feet behind you when the back of your head hits the ice you didn't see in the dark. Nothing says "drunken idiot" like crawling around in ice, mud, and snow feeling for your glasses with a concussion.

Even though I was sober.

Happy Happy

Happy new year, all. May your next 365 days be full of laughter, love, pizza, and winning sports teams of your choice. As long as they don't conflict with the sports teams of my choice.

Vaseline Haze

Trading one vision issue for another.

I think I liked the last one better.

At least then I didn't half-expect Imhotep to show up and steal my tongue.

Fool-Proof Holiday Diet Plan

Step one: Get food poisoning or some dreadful stomach bug.

Step two: Spend two days expelling anything and everything from your digestive system.

Step three: Find that slightly tight pants are no longer tight.

Legal disclaimer: These statements have not been reviewed by the FDA. Always consult your physician before starting this or any other nutritional program. If step two lasts longer than 48 hours, get medical treatment to guard against dangerous dehydration. Proceed at your own risk.

Nice Knowing You

I am currently dying of food poisoning. Or some nasty bug. But I'm thinking food poisoning.

Maybe not dying, but death would be a not entirely unwelcome relief to my pain and exhaustion at this point.

On the plus side, my abs are getting a good workout.

But Before I Go...

One more topic for you.

I tend to walk around in the dark, without turning on lights as I go. I'll be in the living room, turn off the TV/lights/computer/whatever, then walk in total darkness to my bedroom without turning on the hall lights as I pass them. I don't have kids around, so no danger of tripping over toys. I also have a roommate who sleeps all day and works at night, so no roommate to move things around on me. However, occasionally she appears when I am walking from Point A to Point B, and asks why I'm walking around in the dark.

Am I odd?

Tough Decisions

Study until I have to work this evening, or nap until I have to work this evening? Do what I should, or do what I want. Difficult.

Being Ignored

If you know me, you know that the worst thing you can do is ignore me. Even negative attention is attention, after all. Ignoring me might very well drive me out of my mind.

A couple days ago I sent an e-mail to a fellow blogger offering something for a project (s)he is working on...I can't go into details. Anyway, the e-mail and offer have not been acknowledged, and I know this blogger has been online because (s)he blogs approximately every third minute of every waking day. Normally when e-mailing this blogger, I get a reply within minutes even though (s)he is fairly prominent.

So earlier this afternoon I sent a quick note asking her/him to verify that they'd at least gotten the e-mail, and to feel free to alter the offer to their own needs.

Still nothing. Hmph.

Nosy Pants

How do you answer questions like, "Why aren't you married yet?"...or "When are we going to one of these [weddings] for you?"...and the like.

My usual response is some variation of, "I haven't found anyone I want to divorce yet." It is pretty good at ending the topic.

Kicking Up Dust

Dust is the theme this weekend, whether it be found at the library or in the recesses of my computer's casing.

The computer decided to start making hideous noises, and I assumed it was the CPU fan issue being revisited upon me. Trip to Radio Shack, disassemblage, and reassemblage later...I do think that was the issue. But this new fan is louder than the old fan when it was actually working, so...my ears will be on alert for any other strange noises. At least it doesn't sound like it's going to fall apart when I launch new applications.
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I had to get my TA's okay for a couple of sources I want to use for my scientific research paper, and he apparently never heard of either of them. He decided the one was okay because a couple of our university's professors were published in it, lol. The other he nixed, which is fine because I think the one he okayed has all the same information anyway.

I find it unnerving that he never heard of the two publications...since this is allegedly his field of study and all. But on the plus side, it probably means no one else in my class is using the same source. Nyah, nyah.

Hmm...

The Land of Romantic Night

You one half of a couple loving in the Land of the
Romantic Night. You truly are the hopeless
romantic. You live for soft kisses on the lips
and tender hugs. When you fall in love you fall
hard. You are completely devoted to your
partner and would never hurt them on purpose.
You give yourself entirely to your lover and
would do anything for them. However this does
leave you open to hurt, so be careful in your
passionate world.


What is the mystical land of your birth? {13 results with gorgeous anime pics}
brought to you by Quizilla

Not on purpose until they hurt me first, anyway...

Like Reading Isn't Fun Enough

My brain has decided to malfunction, making my eyesight malfunction. It's not that big a deal, except when I'm looking at something up close--like, say, a book. Which wouldn't be that big a deal if I wasn't, say, going to college and expected to read hundreds of pages a week.

It will be corrected, but not until after the semester ends. Yay, studying for finals!

/pity party

I Took Home Ec, I'll Have You Know

Some fool (who I can't link to because his blog is a defunct pile) is maligning my domestic skills. I have mad domestic skillz. I just don't use them a whole lot.

I can sew buttons. I just don't like to sew buttons. Especially when I already "fixed" two of the buttons I have to remove...because I'm not kidding when I tell you that buttons I sew on will never come off. Not without a lot of help from some scissors, a seam ripper, and maybe a knife.

Anywho, my new buttons are on my old coat, and they are shiny and evenly spaced and everything.

And as an aside, a spinster would spin the wool to make the fabric to make the coat. Where do you think the term comes from? From unmarried peasant ladies who had to make their living by spinning.

Oh, and btw...since someone asked...the lady in the banner is from an Old Maid deck of cards. She bears zero physical resemblance to me, thankyouverymuch.

It's So Fifties Housewife

I'm not big on sewing. If given the choice between replacing all the buttons on a coat and buying a new coat...it's a very difficult choice. However, I am a poor college student now, so off I went to buy buttons.

Why, you didn't ask? Because somehow (glancing in direction of roommate, because I don't remember slamming my coat in the closet door) one of the buttons on my heaviest* winter coat was squished into a taco-shaped disaster. And that won't do. It also has a felt-covered cap over the top, so it was broken. So I could run around with a misshapen piece of metal where my button should be, no button at all where my button should be, a completely mismatched button (because large, felt-covered buttons aren't as common as you might think), or I can replace all the buttons.

I did try to fix the button by flattening it back out and supergluing the top part back on, but since they were both bent, I couldn't get them to flatten out in the same shape. And the two parts only meet around the edge, so, yeah. It didn't work.

* Yes, I have several weight grades of winter coats. Doesn't everybody? And it's like 13 degrees out and windy, so the medium-grade winter coat wasn't cutting it on my way home tonight.

It's So Obvious

You scored as Lara Croft. A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination. Lara Croft 92% Captain Jack Sparrow 79% James Bond, Agent 007 71% Indiana Jones 71% Maximus 67% The Terminator 50% Neo, the "One" 50% William Wallace 50% Batman, the Dark Knight 46% El Zorro 29% The Amazing Spider-Man 29% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

As seen by both the boys at Id's Cage.

Suffering Fools

To answer a question...

I know not who is the greater fool;
Me for choosing to believe in you,
Or you for choosing to live without me.

-Anonymous

C'est la vie. Au revoir, mon ami.
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The Boy is in his hometown this weekend, which left me to the girls last night. A good time was had by all, if I remember it correctly.

Tonight I went out briefly after work, but came home early to start studying for my Monday exam. Yes, I am a bit of a geek, but there are people who spent their Saturday night staring at the TV...who made better use of their time?
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I'm a fan of the soup. Particularly if it has cheese or potatoes in it. And if the soup is in a giant soup mug and I have saltines to go with it? Well, I am nearly in heaven then.

The only thing better is Panera soup in the sourdough bread bowl. Oh my.

Kramer Was On To Something

Underwear direct from the dryer? Very nice.

Get It?

If you don't understand the name I'm posting under, just don't worry about it.

I have night classes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday is a nice little respite, because I have no classes--and I only work 12-5.

So, with what little "free" time I've had the last couple nights, I've been acting quite domestic. Tonight was spent cleaning in between reading a book that should be interesting but seems to make me rather sleepy: "Strong of Body, Brave and Noble" by Constance Brittain Bouchard. I am expecting company this weekend, and want the place to look nicer than normal. (Plus my roommate does not clean, so someone has to do it.)

Yesterday, I dragged out my quesadilla maker. It is truly one of the more useless things I own, since I haven't actually used it in...well, several years. Perhaps as many as five. The trouble is, I can't seem to get a handle on how much filling I can use before it will all boil out and make a gigantic mess for me to clean up.

I added cheese, onion (and found out my little mini food processor is broken, hmph), green pepper, and tomato...and it turned out pretty well. I put one of my heavy stoneware dinner plates on top of the maker to weigh it down a bit. The front end has a tendency not to seal very well, and that solved the problem. I think it made the whole thing cook and seal better, actually. I may have to break the quesadilla maker out more often from now on.

Oh, and of course I topped the quesadilla off with sour cream when I ate it. It was a tasty dinner.

Next I'll have to dust off the ice cream maker.

Testy, Testy

Everyone needs a lame first post. This one is mine, all mine!